Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I'm still kickin!
HEY!
So i realize it has been approximately 15 months since my last post. apologies, apologies. its been a wild year though! I have plenty of pent up musings to let loose. i'll for sure dive into each of them in individual posts so this one will just be an overview in a virtual nutshell and a reassurance that I am still alive, and i still have things to say!
So Darren and I got married. yay! we just celebrated our first year and are now into our new year. (complete with resolutions.) i figured that now we have survived year numero uno we just have to do about 80 more of those!
its been an adventure, to say the least. we were enrolled to attend Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California but through a series of divinely intervening events we ended up not going and went to Maui to volunteer at the Haggai Institute for three months instead! I was ok with that :) God has hugely blessed us since we got home from that in November/11. While we were there someone told us that God would treat the months we spent there as a tithe, and it seems like he has. Before we left we had a hard time finding a new place to live that was within our budget and loveable. we also had troubles finding second jobs. i really wanted a pet but that wasn't working either. as soon as we got home we got amazing jobs that we love and our schedules are pretty much the same. we found a beautiful apartment that we love. and we have pets! its just been a really cool year learning to trust God and walk in obedience. I still struggle with personal discipline but i will never claim to be a completed work :)
I'm excited to go into detail about the individual events but for now ta-ta! and stay tuned :)
Friday, February 18, 2011
where there's a pile of ashes there's a symbol of new beginnings
yesterday while reading Oswald's suggested bible reference i came across something that blew my mind! maybe its one of those experiences that is really vivid to the person experiencing it and not so much for someone who has to hear about it second hand... but either way... im throwing it down! i have to.
i want to talk about Elijah and Elisha.
i don't want to butcher the story by paraphrasing so i'll let Biblegateway do the recounting. The first part of 1 Kings 19 is really important to sift through but i'm going to skip down to 1 Kings 19:19..
The Call of Elisha.
19 So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him.
20 Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.”
“Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?”
21 So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.
what??? that's incredible! as far as i could tell Elisha didn't know Elijah from any other strange man running onto fields throwing cloaks at people. (I did a little research and discovered that the act of casting your cloak on someone is a symbol of adoption because a father naturally clothes his children. There was an immediate mutual understanding of a father/son/mentor relationship between them.)
then there is the fact that Elisha is plowing with 12 teams of oxen. he must have had an incredible estate to be plowing around that amount of livestock! to follow this man he didn't know into a life of uncertainty would be a considerable amount of material loss, as well as the loss whatever social status he may have possessed.
But he did it! and not only did he agree to leave the life he knew, and the life he was living quite successfully to follow and serve his new leader.. he did so much more! he turned around, slaughtered his livestock and then proceeded to BURN his farming equipment to create a fire to cook his own farewell banquet. He could have bought a cow for slaughter, he could have chopped down a tree, could have hired a caterer, could have sold his cows and equipment, or he could have just kissed his parents goodbye and not even bothered with the mess. but he made a choice! he made the choice to leave his life and wander into a journey unknown and the thought of returning to the life he once had was not even an option. By the worlds standards this man was crazy. Insane even! but he had discovered something far more valuable than equipment, cows, social status or even family... he had the call of God on his life and he went on to conquer and rule and live a life much more abundant than the one he left... all because of an act of faith and obedience. his decision to destroy the things tying him to where he was at was a symbol of the concrete decision he had made. No turning back.
This story really challenged and inspired me! if Elisha can follow a stranger into a new life by the coordinating of God then how much more should i be willing to burn the things that hinder me to follow God himself, who I do know? God, who has cloaked me in life by his death and adopted me as his heiress and his daughter. i want to live my life in an act of obedience that doesn't take convincing or hesitation. When God asks me to do something, or go somewhere i want to slaughter cows! probably not literally... but whatever kind of attitude, possession, concept or fear is holding me back from living in the freedom of obedience i want to let it burn without a fight TRUSTING that whatever he has asked of me will be worth far more than whatever it was i was holding onto.
i want to talk about Elijah and Elisha.
i don't want to butcher the story by paraphrasing so i'll let Biblegateway do the recounting. The first part of 1 Kings 19 is really important to sift through but i'm going to skip down to 1 Kings 19:19..
The Call of Elisha.
19 So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him.
20 Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.”
“Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?”
21 So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.
what??? that's incredible! as far as i could tell Elisha didn't know Elijah from any other strange man running onto fields throwing cloaks at people. (I did a little research and discovered that the act of casting your cloak on someone is a symbol of adoption because a father naturally clothes his children. There was an immediate mutual understanding of a father/son/mentor relationship between them.)
then there is the fact that Elisha is plowing with 12 teams of oxen. he must have had an incredible estate to be plowing around that amount of livestock! to follow this man he didn't know into a life of uncertainty would be a considerable amount of material loss, as well as the loss whatever social status he may have possessed.
But he did it! and not only did he agree to leave the life he knew, and the life he was living quite successfully to follow and serve his new leader.. he did so much more! he turned around, slaughtered his livestock and then proceeded to BURN his farming equipment to create a fire to cook his own farewell banquet. He could have bought a cow for slaughter, he could have chopped down a tree, could have hired a caterer, could have sold his cows and equipment, or he could have just kissed his parents goodbye and not even bothered with the mess. but he made a choice! he made the choice to leave his life and wander into a journey unknown and the thought of returning to the life he once had was not even an option. By the worlds standards this man was crazy. Insane even! but he had discovered something far more valuable than equipment, cows, social status or even family... he had the call of God on his life and he went on to conquer and rule and live a life much more abundant than the one he left... all because of an act of faith and obedience. his decision to destroy the things tying him to where he was at was a symbol of the concrete decision he had made. No turning back.
This story really challenged and inspired me! if Elisha can follow a stranger into a new life by the coordinating of God then how much more should i be willing to burn the things that hinder me to follow God himself, who I do know? God, who has cloaked me in life by his death and adopted me as his heiress and his daughter. i want to live my life in an act of obedience that doesn't take convincing or hesitation. When God asks me to do something, or go somewhere i want to slaughter cows! probably not literally... but whatever kind of attitude, possession, concept or fear is holding me back from living in the freedom of obedience i want to let it burn without a fight TRUSTING that whatever he has asked of me will be worth far more than whatever it was i was holding onto.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
dear valentines day...
... you can suck it. just kidding! as much as i harsh on this overly glorified excuse for consumers to consume, marketers to market and people to just be annoyingly strung out on cheap chocolate and love songs, i do hope that the ones who value it do have great success in wooing the ones they love, and discovering unique ways to do so.
to have one day dedicated to love isn't an absolutely horrid offense.. people seem friendlier, the air seems softer.. and try as i might i can't help but scheme what extravagant things i would be doing for Darren if i was a believer in such a day as this.
for this ONE day so many people put work aside, schedules aside, barriers (internal like pride and external like distance) aside and dote on the object of their affection without distraction.
But, i don't want my love for Darren, or anyone else to be isolated for exaltation within the 24 hour window of February 14th. i want to be extending expressions of Love Himself to those around me within the entirety of all 8,765.81277 hours of the year.
so here's to the ones i love: this is our 1,056th hour together this year. there have been laughing hours, crying hours, freaking cold hours, and really cozy hours. hours that were filled with expectation, with disappointment, growth and changes. i cherish them all and i can't wait to love you through the 7709.81277 we have left of this year. enjoy your chocolate :)
to have one day dedicated to love isn't an absolutely horrid offense.. people seem friendlier, the air seems softer.. and try as i might i can't help but scheme what extravagant things i would be doing for Darren if i was a believer in such a day as this.
for this ONE day so many people put work aside, schedules aside, barriers (internal like pride and external like distance) aside and dote on the object of their affection without distraction.
But, i don't want my love for Darren, or anyone else to be isolated for exaltation within the 24 hour window of February 14th. i want to be extending expressions of Love Himself to those around me within the entirety of all 8,765.81277 hours of the year.
so here's to the ones i love: this is our 1,056th hour together this year. there have been laughing hours, crying hours, freaking cold hours, and really cozy hours. hours that were filled with expectation, with disappointment, growth and changes. i cherish them all and i can't wait to love you through the 7709.81277 we have left of this year. enjoy your chocolate :)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
scribbles....
so. i've been thinkin about love and all of that...and i only have a few minutes so i'm just going to scratch down what i can for now :)
i'm about to marry (in about 4 months) a man of integrity, wisdom, creativity, and full of a soul beauty that is nearly indescribable. i'm very blessed by the gift of him in my life. he challenges me, encourages me, supports me, and is even patient with ME! haha.. strong fella...
so naturally with all of this happening it really causes me to reflect on what i think love is and how i show it.
i refer back to the classic 1 corinthians 13 passage often as a measuring stick for how i'm doing when it comes to loving others.. i fall short every time! i'll have one or two things on there checked off but for the most part this manifestion of love is something i aspire to. lust is so much easier! but where is the reward in that? with lust there is little to no involvement of the heart and it goes against everything that love is made up of. lust is self-seeking and murderous to everyone involved, while love is selfless and life giving. lust is the path of least resistance and it leads to emptiness and decay. love brings you into wholeness and meaning through a process of purification that brings out your true beautiful self. and the true beautiful selves of the people you are loving.
Jesus asks us to lay down our lives for others, but i don't think he always means this in a literal sense. if we had to jump in front of a bus for someone, we would die and some newspaper would probably glorify us and it would be done. BUT in the sense that i think Jesus actually means this, it is a much more difficult thing he asks of us. i believe he is asking us to lay down our lives for others while we still live. to put aside our self-seeking attitudes and put the interest of others ahead of our own. we have to make the choice to go against our selfish nature and act out of character by putting others first. not just putting them first in theory or in thought but in action.
our privilege to be able to love others, particularly love one person in the intimate marriage relationship is a little slice of heaven here on earth. its a small personification of a bigger, more heavenly picture. it parallels so easily with relationship with Jesus, and i think thats the point.
marriage is not for everyone, but somewhat contradictory to what Paul says, i think that those who are called to the ministry of marriage are so blessed! they learn a side of daily sacrificial love that is by no means easy but is so rewarding!
to learn how to bring my bitterness, my self interest, my pride.. and pile it on top of an alter to be burned in sacrifice is so hard but there's no other way i would want to do it. and i know i have a whole lot more sacrificing to do and it will be a daily choice, and i wont always make the right one. but this whole process excites me :)
anyway... i have a plane to catch.
i'm about to marry (in about 4 months) a man of integrity, wisdom, creativity, and full of a soul beauty that is nearly indescribable. i'm very blessed by the gift of him in my life. he challenges me, encourages me, supports me, and is even patient with ME! haha.. strong fella...
so naturally with all of this happening it really causes me to reflect on what i think love is and how i show it.
i refer back to the classic 1 corinthians 13 passage often as a measuring stick for how i'm doing when it comes to loving others.. i fall short every time! i'll have one or two things on there checked off but for the most part this manifestion of love is something i aspire to. lust is so much easier! but where is the reward in that? with lust there is little to no involvement of the heart and it goes against everything that love is made up of. lust is self-seeking and murderous to everyone involved, while love is selfless and life giving. lust is the path of least resistance and it leads to emptiness and decay. love brings you into wholeness and meaning through a process of purification that brings out your true beautiful self. and the true beautiful selves of the people you are loving.
Jesus asks us to lay down our lives for others, but i don't think he always means this in a literal sense. if we had to jump in front of a bus for someone, we would die and some newspaper would probably glorify us and it would be done. BUT in the sense that i think Jesus actually means this, it is a much more difficult thing he asks of us. i believe he is asking us to lay down our lives for others while we still live. to put aside our self-seeking attitudes and put the interest of others ahead of our own. we have to make the choice to go against our selfish nature and act out of character by putting others first. not just putting them first in theory or in thought but in action.
our privilege to be able to love others, particularly love one person in the intimate marriage relationship is a little slice of heaven here on earth. its a small personification of a bigger, more heavenly picture. it parallels so easily with relationship with Jesus, and i think thats the point.
marriage is not for everyone, but somewhat contradictory to what Paul says, i think that those who are called to the ministry of marriage are so blessed! they learn a side of daily sacrificial love that is by no means easy but is so rewarding!
to learn how to bring my bitterness, my self interest, my pride.. and pile it on top of an alter to be burned in sacrifice is so hard but there's no other way i would want to do it. and i know i have a whole lot more sacrificing to do and it will be a daily choice, and i wont always make the right one. but this whole process excites me :)
anyway... i have a plane to catch.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
the lighter weight of poor judgement
i've come so far ive grown so tall
my once mangled heart can now bed flowers
i hope i've scaled my tallest wall
and knocked down my strongest towers
before you and your arsenal
of manipulation and deceit
i walked with grace, i loved with ease,
and where my confidence once lay complete
i still dig out shards of shrapnel
i used to loathe how you escaped unscathed
but i guess you were the puppet master
i played my role, you pulled the strings,
then cut them slow like veins
used my blood for your victory bathe
i know ive forgiven but its hard to forget,
the final tremors sent ripples on ahead
and every time i question him
my scars are blaming you
my once mangled heart can now bed flowers
i hope i've scaled my tallest wall
and knocked down my strongest towers
before you and your arsenal
of manipulation and deceit
i walked with grace, i loved with ease,
and where my confidence once lay complete
i still dig out shards of shrapnel
i used to loathe how you escaped unscathed
but i guess you were the puppet master
i played my role, you pulled the strings,
then cut them slow like veins
used my blood for your victory bathe
i know ive forgiven but its hard to forget,
the final tremors sent ripples on ahead
and every time i question him
my scars are blaming you
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
naked rhinos
the last couple weeks or so i have been praying for God to continuously rip me apart and change things around in my being so i can be a more free and effective vessel for carrying his love and deliverance...
what was i THINKING?? i remember when i first prayed this dangerous prayer i knew that it would be painful.. and seriously contemplated leaving the prayer as an unspoken desire. but is living about being comfortable and never being disturbed or changed? NNNooooo..its about doing whatever it takes to know the lover of our souls so he can remove our callouses and scales so we can then know him even MORE.... so i prayed. bring it on God. lets get intimate.
cue: quaking of my inner earth.
in this wonderful process i can actually see myself shifting. there are some attitudes and scars lying in the sediment of my heart that are being excavated and some of which are now right in front of my eyes. and everyone else's. i feel so naked. normally my very first reaction, almost instinctively, would be to take this rising awareness of the condition of my heart and STUFF it! then i would put on a better face, one i'm more comfortable with and whatever it was that i avoided would be dealt with at a later date...that would never come. until now. i feel like i don't possess the stuffing ability (hindrance?) anymore. and its so scary but so great! i'm so excited about the healing and restoration that is continuing to happen in me.
I have tried to force it to happen faster for so long, but HIS timing is perfect. i don't know why its happening NOW, and maybe i never will but i'm just thankful it is! He is so faithful and SO GOOD.
i'm so used to grasping at fragile anchors holding me to whats familiar but not now.. its not worth it. i just picture a picture that i want to bring into tangible reality: i'm dropping everything i hold dear, stripping down to the rawness of my soul and running full speed ahead (which, in reality isn't very fast but in this picture i'm a bullet) into the unknown. FEARLESSLY. like a rhino...
(RANDOM FACT: rhino's only see 25 meters ahead of them but run up to a speed of 45 miles per hour... i think they are one of the best personifications of the necessity of faith that God fit into a 1,000 pound beast of leather.
to get around they depend a lot on all senses other than sight. huh...
let faith be my all consuming sense!)
what was i THINKING?? i remember when i first prayed this dangerous prayer i knew that it would be painful.. and seriously contemplated leaving the prayer as an unspoken desire. but is living about being comfortable and never being disturbed or changed? NNNooooo..its about doing whatever it takes to know the lover of our souls so he can remove our callouses and scales so we can then know him even MORE.... so i prayed. bring it on God. lets get intimate.
cue: quaking of my inner earth.
in this wonderful process i can actually see myself shifting. there are some attitudes and scars lying in the sediment of my heart that are being excavated and some of which are now right in front of my eyes. and everyone else's. i feel so naked. normally my very first reaction, almost instinctively, would be to take this rising awareness of the condition of my heart and STUFF it! then i would put on a better face, one i'm more comfortable with and whatever it was that i avoided would be dealt with at a later date...that would never come. until now. i feel like i don't possess the stuffing ability (hindrance?) anymore. and its so scary but so great! i'm so excited about the healing and restoration that is continuing to happen in me.
I have tried to force it to happen faster for so long, but HIS timing is perfect. i don't know why its happening NOW, and maybe i never will but i'm just thankful it is! He is so faithful and SO GOOD.
i'm so used to grasping at fragile anchors holding me to whats familiar but not now.. its not worth it. i just picture a picture that i want to bring into tangible reality: i'm dropping everything i hold dear, stripping down to the rawness of my soul and running full speed ahead (which, in reality isn't very fast but in this picture i'm a bullet) into the unknown. FEARLESSLY. like a rhino...
(RANDOM FACT: rhino's only see 25 meters ahead of them but run up to a speed of 45 miles per hour... i think they are one of the best personifications of the necessity of faith that God fit into a 1,000 pound beast of leather.
to get around they depend a lot on all senses other than sight. huh...
let faith be my all consuming sense!)
Monday, November 29, 2010
revelation from the freezer
i stood feeling a little humbled and foolish after i hung up the cafe phone. one of the girls i work with had called down from the office to chat and as an after thought decided she wanted a cinnamon bun. we didnt have any left out on the counter
so she knew id have to pull it from the freezer. not ideal for taste. ive heard excellent things about these buns we have but have yet to try a fresh one. ive had the frozen ones but i think the promised magic they hold dies in a cold environment.
she said that since it was frozen she should get it for free. i laughed and said i could look the other way this one time. to which she responded:
"if by look the other way you mean put it on my tab then ok. thats the honest, christian thing to do."
it was said good naturedly but it stuck with me for the remainder of the evening in the back of my mind. i was very willing and ready to just hand it over to her without a second thought. it made me wonder what other areas in my life i allow room for compromises that are not within my power to be giving. or taking.
when we have friends (i use "we"loosely and generally..) who work at certain places usually they pull strings and get us discounts or free stuff or in some way or another bend and stretch rules to accommodate us. we get special treatment
because we have some kind of relationship with them. i find that i often treat my relationship with Jesus like this. its not necessarily a bad thing.. it does have biblical merit (read Romans.. all of it). when we enter into a relationship with him we are given special 'privileges' such as: eternal life after death! forgiveness of sins, wholeness and purpose, spiritual giftings, the opportunity to partner with him in his divine commission...BUT just because we are called to be friends, brothers, sisters, and lovers of Jesus this doesn't exempt us from our call to live righteously. if anything it should spur us on in a new ambitious desire TO live righteously. the ways that this can be taken out of context and abused is when we start to think with an attitude that makes us feel deserving of these privileges and so exempt from certain integrities. and this attitude can even give us the audacity to advise others with our clouded perception. when we say to ourselves or others: "Jesus knows where your heart is so he'll understand if you..." or "we really want to wait for the right reasons but we're going to be getting married anyway so what is the huge deal if we..." it becomes easy to justify things away and small allowances will eventually lead to bigger ones.
ultimately we need to remain faithful in the calling to be holy because He is holy.. to be faithful even in the seemingly insignificant things, and our hearts will long to be honest, to be integrous, rules won't look like rules but as a way of worship and expressing our love....
this is something i need to be more consciously applying to MY moment by moment living...
now i've got a mad crave on for some cinnabon!
so she knew id have to pull it from the freezer. not ideal for taste. ive heard excellent things about these buns we have but have yet to try a fresh one. ive had the frozen ones but i think the promised magic they hold dies in a cold environment.
she said that since it was frozen she should get it for free. i laughed and said i could look the other way this one time. to which she responded:
"if by look the other way you mean put it on my tab then ok. thats the honest, christian thing to do."
it was said good naturedly but it stuck with me for the remainder of the evening in the back of my mind. i was very willing and ready to just hand it over to her without a second thought. it made me wonder what other areas in my life i allow room for compromises that are not within my power to be giving. or taking.
when we have friends (i use "we"loosely and generally..) who work at certain places usually they pull strings and get us discounts or free stuff or in some way or another bend and stretch rules to accommodate us. we get special treatment
because we have some kind of relationship with them. i find that i often treat my relationship with Jesus like this. its not necessarily a bad thing.. it does have biblical merit (read Romans.. all of it). when we enter into a relationship with him we are given special 'privileges' such as: eternal life after death! forgiveness of sins, wholeness and purpose, spiritual giftings, the opportunity to partner with him in his divine commission...BUT just because we are called to be friends, brothers, sisters, and lovers of Jesus this doesn't exempt us from our call to live righteously. if anything it should spur us on in a new ambitious desire TO live righteously. the ways that this can be taken out of context and abused is when we start to think with an attitude that makes us feel deserving of these privileges and so exempt from certain integrities. and this attitude can even give us the audacity to advise others with our clouded perception. when we say to ourselves or others: "Jesus knows where your heart is so he'll understand if you..." or "we really want to wait for the right reasons but we're going to be getting married anyway so what is the huge deal if we..." it becomes easy to justify things away and small allowances will eventually lead to bigger ones.
ultimately we need to remain faithful in the calling to be holy because He is holy.. to be faithful even in the seemingly insignificant things, and our hearts will long to be honest, to be integrous, rules won't look like rules but as a way of worship and expressing our love....
this is something i need to be more consciously applying to MY moment by moment living...
now i've got a mad crave on for some cinnabon!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
just a thought...
i'm at the front of the long row of traffic all waiting for the light to turn green. engines revving, impatience contorting the face of every driver. they all have places to go and people to see and this blasted red light is keeping them from it all.
imagination kicks in.
i drum my fingers on the gear shifter in what is now my 1970 stingray corvette. my getaway car. the people around me are no longer fellow citizens but cops with a radar that has zeroed in on me. green eyes turn gray. the light turns green. i throw the engine into gear and speed ahead, weaving in and out of any traffic in my way, knowing that if they catch up to me its all over. i imagine lights and radios, and helicopters beating overhead. they all are after a menace on the loose and if they catch me its prison for sure.
i make it safely to my destination and my car turns back into a cobalt, everyone else turns back into regular strangers on their individual quests in life, and i am no longer a wanted criminal.
but what a cheap thrill!
but why?
there's something about rebellion that feels powerful and drug-like.
the darker side of me sometimes emerges wearing a microscopic black leather cat-woman-esque suit, bringing with it a lust for wreaking havoc.
imagining i'm someone that other people fearfully move out of the way for when they see me coming because they can sense that the path i'm walking leaves a wake of broken hearts and destruction.
just a powerful glance can make people come or go and bend at my will.
made up of lips that poison and curves that kill.
no pleasure is out of bounds.
i don't care who gets in the way.
they don't stand any other chance but to lay in ruin at my feet...
then i snap out of it and praise God that i don't live there anymore! i take off the faded suit and re-robe myself in modesty and humility.
sometimes the seductive advances of the world are magnetic and appeal to the parts of me that have tasted it.
could it be that maybe this was part of God's human design? the draw to do things out of character and to rebel against the world exists in everyone i've ever talked to. but it often has a negative stigma attached to it because we often rebel the wrong way. what if we took the seduction out of it and saw it as a call to be holy? a call to do things out of OUR character and in CHRISTS character. to rebel against the new religion of non-religion. to be outrageously counter-cultural and walk in the power of the Spirit instead of our own. there is no pleasure that satisfies more and no drug that could duplicate the effects. if we see it as a call to holy rebellion and not an opportunity to gratify the flesh while creating a crumbling throne to self then it takes a dying to self. two completely opposite directions.
if we could, in the midst of seduction, see an opportunity to flip it in the opposite direction and turn it into a kingdom-furthering behaviour how pissed would satan be? the plucking at the strings of our selfishness is among his most commonly used weapons in his arsenal. and with a change of perspective we could render it useless!
anyway.. like i said.. its just a thought.
imagination kicks in.
i drum my fingers on the gear shifter in what is now my 1970 stingray corvette. my getaway car. the people around me are no longer fellow citizens but cops with a radar that has zeroed in on me. green eyes turn gray. the light turns green. i throw the engine into gear and speed ahead, weaving in and out of any traffic in my way, knowing that if they catch up to me its all over. i imagine lights and radios, and helicopters beating overhead. they all are after a menace on the loose and if they catch me its prison for sure.
i make it safely to my destination and my car turns back into a cobalt, everyone else turns back into regular strangers on their individual quests in life, and i am no longer a wanted criminal.
but what a cheap thrill!
but why?
there's something about rebellion that feels powerful and drug-like.
the darker side of me sometimes emerges wearing a microscopic black leather cat-woman-esque suit, bringing with it a lust for wreaking havoc.
imagining i'm someone that other people fearfully move out of the way for when they see me coming because they can sense that the path i'm walking leaves a wake of broken hearts and destruction.
just a powerful glance can make people come or go and bend at my will.
made up of lips that poison and curves that kill.
no pleasure is out of bounds.
i don't care who gets in the way.
they don't stand any other chance but to lay in ruin at my feet...
then i snap out of it and praise God that i don't live there anymore! i take off the faded suit and re-robe myself in modesty and humility.
sometimes the seductive advances of the world are magnetic and appeal to the parts of me that have tasted it.
could it be that maybe this was part of God's human design? the draw to do things out of character and to rebel against the world exists in everyone i've ever talked to. but it often has a negative stigma attached to it because we often rebel the wrong way. what if we took the seduction out of it and saw it as a call to be holy? a call to do things out of OUR character and in CHRISTS character. to rebel against the new religion of non-religion. to be outrageously counter-cultural and walk in the power of the Spirit instead of our own. there is no pleasure that satisfies more and no drug that could duplicate the effects. if we see it as a call to holy rebellion and not an opportunity to gratify the flesh while creating a crumbling throne to self then it takes a dying to self. two completely opposite directions.
if we could, in the midst of seduction, see an opportunity to flip it in the opposite direction and turn it into a kingdom-furthering behaviour how pissed would satan be? the plucking at the strings of our selfishness is among his most commonly used weapons in his arsenal. and with a change of perspective we could render it useless!
anyway.. like i said.. its just a thought.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
there are two perspectives for every harlot
I'm thinking about the harlot in Hosea.
She comes to mind now and then sporadically when i think about God and his relation to us. She climbs on in there when I glance at my bookshelf and see my copy of "redeeming love" which made me ugly-cry, complete with snot bubbles, from cover to cover when i read it. but today she unexpectedly sprang up out of a different book I was reading.
The reference in the book was to Hosea 2:6-7
"Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but she will not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them."
When I first read it I thought it was harsh! it reminded me of times when i've felt walled in on all sides, unable to see past my toes and trying in vain to escape in any way that looked promising.
I imagined her arms bruised and bloodied from trying to rage against the walls and bushes until they fell or parted. Her voice would be gone from relentless screaming to be found. her heart broken from the defeat of thinking she had found a way out only to discover herself deeper in the maze of her entrapment. she's unable to have her love requited because her lovers are always just out of reach. she's soon left with no other option but to.. look up..
oh.
i get it.
i felt the resentment which had been building in my heart subside entirely.
this is not a harsh, mean punishment of God. He is not trapping her, or us for the enjoyment of watching us struggle. This is all done out of his unequaled love for us and his unquenchable desire to have our hearts for his own.
when we start to turn to things, or people, other than him for our salvation he places obstructions on those paths so we can be lovingly led back to where our real salvation is. in Him. he does it to save us from the inevitable pain it causes us to seek wholeness outside of himself. but because he is a loving God we still have the ability to choose. we can proudly thrash at thorns until we bleed to death or we can recognize where we are trying to draw life from death and turn into his waiting arms and together you can find a renewed vision.
This was good for me to realize because i feel like this weekend has been full of variations of thorn bushes and walls. walls of anger and pride, bushes of guilt and fogs of doubt. i would like to stop thrashing now.
She comes to mind now and then sporadically when i think about God and his relation to us. She climbs on in there when I glance at my bookshelf and see my copy of "redeeming love" which made me ugly-cry, complete with snot bubbles, from cover to cover when i read it. but today she unexpectedly sprang up out of a different book I was reading.
The reference in the book was to Hosea 2:6-7
"Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but she will not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them."
When I first read it I thought it was harsh! it reminded me of times when i've felt walled in on all sides, unable to see past my toes and trying in vain to escape in any way that looked promising.
I imagined her arms bruised and bloodied from trying to rage against the walls and bushes until they fell or parted. Her voice would be gone from relentless screaming to be found. her heart broken from the defeat of thinking she had found a way out only to discover herself deeper in the maze of her entrapment. she's unable to have her love requited because her lovers are always just out of reach. she's soon left with no other option but to.. look up..
oh.
i get it.
i felt the resentment which had been building in my heart subside entirely.
this is not a harsh, mean punishment of God. He is not trapping her, or us for the enjoyment of watching us struggle. This is all done out of his unequaled love for us and his unquenchable desire to have our hearts for his own.
when we start to turn to things, or people, other than him for our salvation he places obstructions on those paths so we can be lovingly led back to where our real salvation is. in Him. he does it to save us from the inevitable pain it causes us to seek wholeness outside of himself. but because he is a loving God we still have the ability to choose. we can proudly thrash at thorns until we bleed to death or we can recognize where we are trying to draw life from death and turn into his waiting arms and together you can find a renewed vision.
This was good for me to realize because i feel like this weekend has been full of variations of thorn bushes and walls. walls of anger and pride, bushes of guilt and fogs of doubt. i would like to stop thrashing now.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
a year of new normals... and another night of insomnia.
try as i may, sleep does not want to stay with me long. i'm wearing deodorant and i just had a shower... so it can't be me. it must have other, more important business tonight (or this morning?)
since my last post my life has continued to turn inside out and upside down. and its great! there are so many things I have learned and i am continuing to learn that are writhing just beneath the surface of my chest and competing with each other to bust outta there. my heart aches with a desire to just spill all over this keyboard. I'm never quite sure where to begin, but what do i know for sure? God is good. He is faithful. He is loving. And he's not done with me yet! I feel like I have reached a point where all i desire, all there is to do is stand under a vast starry sky or beaming sunset displaying the beauty and splendor of the God I love, throw my head back with my arms outstretched to each side and yelling "have your way in me!" reaching surrender has been a bloody road. and i know its a road i will have to revisit many times in my walk of faith. But is there any other way? i wouldn't want it if there were. if i had the option of an easier road than this one marked out for me then i don't think i would experience the intimacy with Jesus that I experience now. I wouldn't know the people that I know, read the books that i've read, had the same opportunities, i wouldn't be who I currently am.
not so long ago, shortly after april, i would see others who had what i assumed to be an "easier road" and i was painfully jealous. I felt so ripped off that i had my circumstances forced upon me and now there i stood in the wreckage of it all not knowing where i was or how to make any kind of sense of the chaos. but through that i had a consistent peaceful place in the corner of my heart. This little place held the knowledge that God was in control and that above all he loved me and is faithful. The more i began to visit this space of peace the more i began to realize that these people i was envious of, the ones who were laughing and living what seemed to be an untangled life, i didn't know their full tales. if i would have looked through the veil of my pain i would have seen that behind a lot of the laughter there were old eyes with stale tears. i was not the only one walking with a limp. in fact, as i began to dwell in this peaceful heart space instead of stopping by for frequent visits, i saw how richly blessed i actually am! i have a home, i have regular meals, nine remaining healthy family members, friends who i would die for and i know would do the same for me, and most valued; i have a relentless God who pursues me to no end. since moving into that heart space it has expanded to accommodate and now all of that crippled perspective seems so distant. and i'm left with an overwhelming thankfulness.
more to come...
since my last post my life has continued to turn inside out and upside down. and its great! there are so many things I have learned and i am continuing to learn that are writhing just beneath the surface of my chest and competing with each other to bust outta there. my heart aches with a desire to just spill all over this keyboard. I'm never quite sure where to begin, but what do i know for sure? God is good. He is faithful. He is loving. And he's not done with me yet! I feel like I have reached a point where all i desire, all there is to do is stand under a vast starry sky or beaming sunset displaying the beauty and splendor of the God I love, throw my head back with my arms outstretched to each side and yelling "have your way in me!" reaching surrender has been a bloody road. and i know its a road i will have to revisit many times in my walk of faith. But is there any other way? i wouldn't want it if there were. if i had the option of an easier road than this one marked out for me then i don't think i would experience the intimacy with Jesus that I experience now. I wouldn't know the people that I know, read the books that i've read, had the same opportunities, i wouldn't be who I currently am.
not so long ago, shortly after april, i would see others who had what i assumed to be an "easier road" and i was painfully jealous. I felt so ripped off that i had my circumstances forced upon me and now there i stood in the wreckage of it all not knowing where i was or how to make any kind of sense of the chaos. but through that i had a consistent peaceful place in the corner of my heart. This little place held the knowledge that God was in control and that above all he loved me and is faithful. The more i began to visit this space of peace the more i began to realize that these people i was envious of, the ones who were laughing and living what seemed to be an untangled life, i didn't know their full tales. if i would have looked through the veil of my pain i would have seen that behind a lot of the laughter there were old eyes with stale tears. i was not the only one walking with a limp. in fact, as i began to dwell in this peaceful heart space instead of stopping by for frequent visits, i saw how richly blessed i actually am! i have a home, i have regular meals, nine remaining healthy family members, friends who i would die for and i know would do the same for me, and most valued; i have a relentless God who pursues me to no end. since moving into that heart space it has expanded to accommodate and now all of that crippled perspective seems so distant. and i'm left with an overwhelming thankfulness.
more to come...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Bambi's mama
I won't go into all the details of my life over the last three years because there are A LOT! haha.. but we can get re-acquianted starting with where I'm at today...
So much has happened in the last couple weeks and I feel like I haven’t had the time to allow it to catch up with me, I’ve only been moving with momentum. Inside my skin there is a confusing combination of sturdy walls of peace and turbulent waves of anxiety. The waves relentlessly crash upon the walls in efforts to knock them down, but sturdy they remain.
recently..after I found out about some questionable activities that were going on at my place of residence I really felt like God was asking me to GET OUT of there. It was a really hard thing for me to do. I was friends with my roommate who is not a believer and over the last 7 months of living together she had mentioned numerous times that if it was God in me that made me obviously different from others then she wanted to know who this God person was. It seemed God was using me to be a bit of a beacon in her life, unbeknown to me. That was a huge encouragement, and a huge responsibility. It acted as a form of accountability for me in the way I chose to live my life. It also was heavy in the sense that I had to maintain this pedestal standard she had placed me on. I am not pedestal material! None of us are. The only reason we are any different is because of the grace of God, and the value he puts on our lives. It is nothing we can measure up to on our own strength. The only good she saw in me was because of what Jesus was doing in and through me. I only hope that she knew how to make that distinction. So after finding out some things that were going on at my place, I stood right in the vortex of a moral dilemma. Torn between my fear of ruining the witness I had established within this friendship, and what I felt was obedience to leave. To know that God knows best and to still choose disobedience is really rather unintelligent and not worth the risk.
So i prayed. I prayed for days that if moving out was the right thing to do that God would allow it to go smoothly. so, when I told my roomie that i was thinking of moving out (based on the circumstances) of course i expected her to be very receptive and understanding. this actually was not the result. Things got pretty angry and uncomfortable at my house. this was really painful for me. So i started to doubt that i was making the right choice. Then Thursday night a very good, very amazing friend called me to see how I was doing. Through sporadic tears I filled her in on what was going on at home..and within half an hour she was at my house and within two hours she had all of my stuff moved out of my place and into hers. I guess God's definition of "smooth" is quite a bit different than mine...
So now here I am out on an open range, fully exposed and raw, a perfect target of attack. Much like Bambi’s mother. Only my hunters are mostly of the hungry spiritual variety, not the hungry human kind.. and I'm not going to die :)
So much has happened in the last couple weeks and I feel like I haven’t had the time to allow it to catch up with me, I’ve only been moving with momentum. Inside my skin there is a confusing combination of sturdy walls of peace and turbulent waves of anxiety. The waves relentlessly crash upon the walls in efforts to knock them down, but sturdy they remain.
recently..after I found out about some questionable activities that were going on at my place of residence I really felt like God was asking me to GET OUT of there. It was a really hard thing for me to do. I was friends with my roommate who is not a believer and over the last 7 months of living together she had mentioned numerous times that if it was God in me that made me obviously different from others then she wanted to know who this God person was. It seemed God was using me to be a bit of a beacon in her life, unbeknown to me. That was a huge encouragement, and a huge responsibility. It acted as a form of accountability for me in the way I chose to live my life. It also was heavy in the sense that I had to maintain this pedestal standard she had placed me on. I am not pedestal material! None of us are. The only reason we are any different is because of the grace of God, and the value he puts on our lives. It is nothing we can measure up to on our own strength. The only good she saw in me was because of what Jesus was doing in and through me. I only hope that she knew how to make that distinction. So after finding out some things that were going on at my place, I stood right in the vortex of a moral dilemma. Torn between my fear of ruining the witness I had established within this friendship, and what I felt was obedience to leave. To know that God knows best and to still choose disobedience is really rather unintelligent and not worth the risk.
So i prayed. I prayed for days that if moving out was the right thing to do that God would allow it to go smoothly. so, when I told my roomie that i was thinking of moving out (based on the circumstances) of course i expected her to be very receptive and understanding. this actually was not the result. Things got pretty angry and uncomfortable at my house. this was really painful for me. So i started to doubt that i was making the right choice. Then Thursday night a very good, very amazing friend called me to see how I was doing. Through sporadic tears I filled her in on what was going on at home..and within half an hour she was at my house and within two hours she had all of my stuff moved out of my place and into hers. I guess God's definition of "smooth" is quite a bit different than mine...
So now here I am out on an open range, fully exposed and raw, a perfect target of attack. Much like Bambi’s mother. Only my hunters are mostly of the hungry spiritual variety, not the hungry human kind.. and I'm not going to die :)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
OVERDUE!
So I suppose it has been QUITE awhile since I’ve updated my blog. SO SORRY FAITHFUL READERS! Well this has BY FAR been the craziest, busiest, most stressful month of my Chinese life so far. I’ll take it back to the beginning. OK so, when I first started working for my boss, Jenny, I worked CRAZY over time hours for her. People thought I was crazy, but I wanted to help her out. So in exchange I asked her for my normal contract hours (22) for the month of August while my friend was up visiting.
My best friend, Ashlee came up to visit for three weeks. AMAZING, I know! It was so great of her to come here. We had such a wonderful time. There were some complications involved when she first came. The plan was for me to go to Beijing, pick her up and we spend the weekend together in Beijing. So I hopped an overnight bus to Beijing, so excited to see her AND to see Beijing. A few hours into the ride I get a phone call. It’s ashlee, nearly in tears because she missed her plane. “FRICK!” I thought.
Haha.. it’s funny now. But there was weeks of build up for this visit and it was truly disappointing. So I convinced myself that it just HAD to work out. I was going to Beijing, my hotel was already booked. It wasn’t going to be a waste of a trip. So she did eventually make it to china. A day late. So I had to spend the weekend in Beijing alone. And it was great! I had such a good time. I went to Tianamen Square, I went to the Summer palace, and I met so many people! I met some people at Tianamen and we went to a tea festival. It was so cool! And I had never spent the night in a hotel alone before so it was a cool experience. It was nice to have some time alone. I haven’t really been alone since I got to china. So anyway Jenny agreed to let me have my normal hours. Then when I came back from Beijing she had me working 7 hours overtime! So I brought the subject to her and asked her about it, asking her why I still had more hours than the other teachers when she had agreed to the contract hours. She denied it and said that I never asked her for the contract hours. It was a mess. So that didn’t end very well. But she did change the schedule back to only 2 hours overtime, which I was verbally grateful for. But since that day I went from being the on top favourite teacher to the black sheep. She made up nasty stories about me to the other teachers, and pitted them in competition against me. whenever she had an ounce of a problem with me she went to the other teachers and to my other friends. She blatantly undermined me in front of students and their parents. I DID NOT come all this way to china, and work this hard to be treated with such little respect. My reputation that I worked hard to build over the last 4 months was slashed to ribbons in a week. So I talked with jenny over dinner telling her that she needed to start acting like a mature professional or I’m leaving. She said she would. But things only got worse. She told the other teachers she didn’t believe I was really leaving and that it was an empty threat and that she “owned” me. So I promptly gave her my notice and started looking for another job. I’ll come back to this later. I’ll talk about Ashlee’s visit first J
We went to shanghai for a few days and had SO much fun! We went to all these illegal fake brand name stores. And we found this Ice bar. It was so cool! (pun possibly intended J) it was this bar made entirely of ice. The menu was ice, the cups were ice, the seats were ice. There were ice sculptures.. it was all ice. They give you these Eskimo coats and gloves when you go in. you’re aonly allowed to be in the bar for 45 minutes and then you have to go out for a while and warm up. I figured because we are from Canada we could handle it. NO WAY! We stayed in there long enough to have one drink and we were outta there! They weren’t lying about the cold. Then the next weekend we went to Beijing! It was great! We went to the forbidden city the first day. It was really interesting. I wish I knew more Chinese history. (I took a bunch of pictures for you Grandpa!) and the next day we went on a tour with 7 other people to the Ming Tombs and the GREAT WALL! It was raining all day, but it seemed to add something special. Something more mysterious. I really enjoyed the tombs. The things they told us were so interesting! But the great wall was fantastic! ( I took a bunch of pictures there too!) we had such a great time up there. We had to take this roller coaster trolley thing up the side of a mountain to bypass the busy part so we could actually get to the wall. It’s a very busy place. They had bears outside the wall in a habitat that you could throw cucumbers to. I was a little disappointed that they weren’t panda bears. I’ll see those before I leave, I promise! So that was Beijing. Beautiful and interesting.
When we got back to Weihai we visited the beach in the evening. I guess this summer was the summer for all the jellyfish to come out. There was a jellyfish MASSACRE! People were in the water pulling these HUGE, MONTROUS jellyfish out of the water and killing them, taking the parts that they needed for dinner and leaving the rest on the beach. The beach was COVERED with jellyfish bodies. It was neat. I geuss a couple foreigners died this summer on that beach from poisonous jellyfish stings. I avoided the water after that.
So that’s a summary of Ashlee’s visit. And this is the best part: A week after she got home she called me and said she had decided she loved china so much that she;s quitting her job, selling her car and MOVING HERE to live with me!!!!!! how great is that?! I’m so excited. So she’ll be here in approximately…17 days. Not even counting haha.
So as to the job thing. On Wednesday I moved to a city called Shenzhen. It’s VERY close to hong kong. In some areas you can see hong kong. It’s very hot and tropical here. They call it the California, or the Florida of china. It some places it still looks like china, but mostly like Florida filled with Chinese people. I’m in the care of a recruitment agency and they got me an interview with a kindergarten school on Monday. I REALLY don’t want to teach kindergarten but I guess the middle schools are full. And it’s only for 6 months. AND here’s something kinda interesting.. haha… I have an interview with a modeling agency. So silly! It would be fun though. I’ll keep you posted on that.
Well so here I am, in Shenzhen, sitting in a starbucks, I just finished eating my whole wheat carrot muffin and my espresso frappaccino. And sitting almost directly across from me is a guy with very pungent breath speaking fervently to a woman across from him with breath as equally bad smelling….. and looking at a view of tall buildings and palm trees. As I was falling asleep last night in my very cramped, very damp hotel room I felt like one of those people who move to LA to become famous. They are alone with no money, no job, no acquaintances. All they have is passion, and that seems to keep them going. I don’t plan on becoming famous here but I do fit the rest of that criteria.
My best friend, Ashlee came up to visit for three weeks. AMAZING, I know! It was so great of her to come here. We had such a wonderful time. There were some complications involved when she first came. The plan was for me to go to Beijing, pick her up and we spend the weekend together in Beijing. So I hopped an overnight bus to Beijing, so excited to see her AND to see Beijing. A few hours into the ride I get a phone call. It’s ashlee, nearly in tears because she missed her plane. “FRICK!” I thought.
Haha.. it’s funny now. But there was weeks of build up for this visit and it was truly disappointing. So I convinced myself that it just HAD to work out. I was going to Beijing, my hotel was already booked. It wasn’t going to be a waste of a trip. So she did eventually make it to china. A day late. So I had to spend the weekend in Beijing alone. And it was great! I had such a good time. I went to Tianamen Square, I went to the Summer palace, and I met so many people! I met some people at Tianamen and we went to a tea festival. It was so cool! And I had never spent the night in a hotel alone before so it was a cool experience. It was nice to have some time alone. I haven’t really been alone since I got to china. So anyway Jenny agreed to let me have my normal hours. Then when I came back from Beijing she had me working 7 hours overtime! So I brought the subject to her and asked her about it, asking her why I still had more hours than the other teachers when she had agreed to the contract hours. She denied it and said that I never asked her for the contract hours. It was a mess. So that didn’t end very well. But she did change the schedule back to only 2 hours overtime, which I was verbally grateful for. But since that day I went from being the on top favourite teacher to the black sheep. She made up nasty stories about me to the other teachers, and pitted them in competition against me. whenever she had an ounce of a problem with me she went to the other teachers and to my other friends. She blatantly undermined me in front of students and their parents. I DID NOT come all this way to china, and work this hard to be treated with such little respect. My reputation that I worked hard to build over the last 4 months was slashed to ribbons in a week. So I talked with jenny over dinner telling her that she needed to start acting like a mature professional or I’m leaving. She said she would. But things only got worse. She told the other teachers she didn’t believe I was really leaving and that it was an empty threat and that she “owned” me. So I promptly gave her my notice and started looking for another job. I’ll come back to this later. I’ll talk about Ashlee’s visit first J
We went to shanghai for a few days and had SO much fun! We went to all these illegal fake brand name stores. And we found this Ice bar. It was so cool! (pun possibly intended J) it was this bar made entirely of ice. The menu was ice, the cups were ice, the seats were ice. There were ice sculptures.. it was all ice. They give you these Eskimo coats and gloves when you go in. you’re aonly allowed to be in the bar for 45 minutes and then you have to go out for a while and warm up. I figured because we are from Canada we could handle it. NO WAY! We stayed in there long enough to have one drink and we were outta there! They weren’t lying about the cold. Then the next weekend we went to Beijing! It was great! We went to the forbidden city the first day. It was really interesting. I wish I knew more Chinese history. (I took a bunch of pictures for you Grandpa!) and the next day we went on a tour with 7 other people to the Ming Tombs and the GREAT WALL! It was raining all day, but it seemed to add something special. Something more mysterious. I really enjoyed the tombs. The things they told us were so interesting! But the great wall was fantastic! ( I took a bunch of pictures there too!) we had such a great time up there. We had to take this roller coaster trolley thing up the side of a mountain to bypass the busy part so we could actually get to the wall. It’s a very busy place. They had bears outside the wall in a habitat that you could throw cucumbers to. I was a little disappointed that they weren’t panda bears. I’ll see those before I leave, I promise! So that was Beijing. Beautiful and interesting.
When we got back to Weihai we visited the beach in the evening. I guess this summer was the summer for all the jellyfish to come out. There was a jellyfish MASSACRE! People were in the water pulling these HUGE, MONTROUS jellyfish out of the water and killing them, taking the parts that they needed for dinner and leaving the rest on the beach. The beach was COVERED with jellyfish bodies. It was neat. I geuss a couple foreigners died this summer on that beach from poisonous jellyfish stings. I avoided the water after that.
So that’s a summary of Ashlee’s visit. And this is the best part: A week after she got home she called me and said she had decided she loved china so much that she;s quitting her job, selling her car and MOVING HERE to live with me!!!!!! how great is that?! I’m so excited. So she’ll be here in approximately…17 days. Not even counting haha.
So as to the job thing. On Wednesday I moved to a city called Shenzhen. It’s VERY close to hong kong. In some areas you can see hong kong. It’s very hot and tropical here. They call it the California, or the Florida of china. It some places it still looks like china, but mostly like Florida filled with Chinese people. I’m in the care of a recruitment agency and they got me an interview with a kindergarten school on Monday. I REALLY don’t want to teach kindergarten but I guess the middle schools are full. And it’s only for 6 months. AND here’s something kinda interesting.. haha… I have an interview with a modeling agency. So silly! It would be fun though. I’ll keep you posted on that.
Well so here I am, in Shenzhen, sitting in a starbucks, I just finished eating my whole wheat carrot muffin and my espresso frappaccino. And sitting almost directly across from me is a guy with very pungent breath speaking fervently to a woman across from him with breath as equally bad smelling….. and looking at a view of tall buildings and palm trees. As I was falling asleep last night in my very cramped, very damp hotel room I felt like one of those people who move to LA to become famous. They are alone with no money, no job, no acquaintances. All they have is passion, and that seems to keep them going. I don’t plan on becoming famous here but I do fit the rest of that criteria.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
update
so agreeably it's been a long time since i last updated thing thang. i've been lazy! i'm sorry! so SHANGHAI! it was so fun! i wish i had more crazy stories from there to tell you, but it was pretty basic tourism. the bus we took there was so cool! it beats a greyhound a thousand times over! only about 30-some people get on the bus and instead of seats they have beds! YEAH! the trip was about 15 hours long so it was NIIICE. however i had a bad bed on the way there and they were bunk bed style so the bed above me was too close so i couldn't sit up at all. after laying down for 15 hours it kinda gives you a teeny headache. and a couple men were late getting on the bus so they had to sleep on the floor.. riiight beside me. so spent most of the way there spooning with a complete stranger. the way back was much better! i got a top bunk! wa hoo!
we saw a lot of buildings and places. we went to Madame Toussauds wax museum it was great! they had people there like princess diana, michael jackson, david beckham.. they had EVERYONE famous you can think of pretty much. we got some pretty good pictures so if you're ever on facebook check out my albums! we went to the people's square which is a really cool block blocked off from traffic (except this little train that takes you on tours around the block.. it look like a little toy train but can fit a surprising amount of people in it!) and the street in lined with shopping areas, restaurants, bars. it's a great place to go at night! the neon lights are amazing! we went up to the VEERRRYYY top of the oriental pearl tower. it's the third highest tower in the world. the inside was incredible! when you are finished viewing, instead of taking an elevator down you go through a bar/restaurant, and two different museums. one if a museum of old chinese culture and the other is a space museum. random. and there is a roller coaster inside. ji hye is scared of things that like so we didn't go. it's no fun to go alone. it takes about two hours to get through the whole thing but you're never lacking entertainment. shanghai was so nice because there were so many foreigners! now when i'm back in weihai and i see a foreigner i don't feel an irrisistable urge to run up to them and introduce myself. that's a good thing :) we met a lot of people.. it was surprisingly hard though to find foreigners who spoke english! we met a group of asian people from australia. i spoke more chinese than they did it was hilarious! we hung out with them for the rest of the week. i went on the super train! it covers (i forget how many miles, but driving by car it takes about an hour) but this super train cover the same amount of ground in a shocking 8 minutes! it was a little scary but so worth it! i think it's the fastest one in the world. so that's kinda cool. we also went to this place called Xin Tian Di almost every night which is a place that is all renaissance style buildings and it's all blocked off from traffic and it's cobblestone streets strewn with fancy outdoor restaurants and clubs. it was really cool to see. i wish my pictures turned out better they don't do most of the scenery justice at all. what else did we do? we went to the Yu Yuan gardens, which was INCREDIBLE! what kind of architecture do you think of when you think of china? i hope it's those curved topped roofs and dragons and things like that. yeah this whole part of the city is buiding upon building in traditional chinese architecture. so beautiful! and there was market upon market! (ANNND a starbucks!) then when you get into the actualy garden it's beautiful! it's so hard to describe. it was buing during the Quing dynasty i believe and it was so cool to imagine all the emporers and other people walking through that exact garden (although a lot of it had been restored so there were very few ORIGINAL parts). that was a ridiculously hot day though! actually everyday in shanghai was ridiculously hot! you take five steps in any direction and you're completely soaked. it was nuts. we didn't do the river cruise.. after so many days of go-go tourism you just want to relax.. so we'll hit that next time. we did a lot of shopping in some of the famous shopping centers.... A LOT. haha. it was a good time. found some good deals. we went through these tunnels.. the brochure made them seem incredible.. but if you ever get to shanghai.. don't waste your time!! really.. i generally like everything i try.. but these tunnels were LAME! but they were in a great location. they were in a place called The bund which is crazily crowded with people. it's a cement path that winds along the Huangpu river, and has the loading dock for the river cruise. it's a nice place, and it's easy to see why it's craawling with people all the time. i got my eyebrow pierced! haha.. did somethign random.. all that heat plays with your mind. i'm lucky i stopped at the piercing and didn't get a whole sleeve of tattoos! we checked out a Buddha temple. it was really beautiful. it was sad.. there were so many idols. and the size of them! there are bell towers and drum towers. most of this is all included in my pictures. people come into the temple grounds and they buy prayer incence sticks and light on fire on these big coal pitts and then they stand in the middle of the courtyard and bow to all four surrounding walls holding the prayer sticks either in front of them or over their heads. it was interesting. when they're finished praying they lay the sticks on the side of the coal pitt and leave them to burn. like i said.. interesting...but sad.
so that's all i can think of as of now for shanghai. getting back to weihai was NICE! the pace is slower, the air is cooler and there's an OCEAN! the day after we got back we went straight to the beach for the day. we bought our rubber water tubes and floated in the water all day. well we stayed in the water until we swam into a HUGE jellyfish. those things feels DISGUSTING!! i was swimming and felt somethign jelly and screamed louder than i have for a long time and looked and it was a little jellyfish, and then the deeper we got the more i saw everywhere and then all of a sudden this HUGE giant mother jellyfish came out of nowhere! we're lucky we didn't get stung. that thing could have killed. we paddled our tubes as fast as we could outta there.
so for the summer prgram we got two new teachers. both are from england. one teacher's name in johnathan and the other is Essy. actually the other WAS Essy.. she was a bit of a princess and when she found out she couldn't have her own apartment she left so we are short one teacher now and so we have an extra week off. ok with with me :) although i am missing some of my students a bit. we found a replacement teacher who is from america, her name is Jenna.. she's coming tomorrow. i guess she'll be my new roommate for a month. either mine or johnathan's... but i'm pretty sure she would probably rather live with me haha but who knows.
today me and johathan went rock climbing! it was SO nice. we climbed up this big mountain and had such a spectacular view. after that we walked through town and stopped for some street food and i showed him around the night market. it was fun. i love china. you see so many random things in a night. you wouldn't believe this place unless you were here. every minute something unexpected is happening. you're never lacking entertainment in any degree. sorry guys i'm never coming home! haha.. i'm ruined! tomorrow we're going out in the morning to see if we can get out on a fishing boat. can't wait! i've been wanting to try fishing here since before i came!
we saw a lot of buildings and places. we went to Madame Toussauds wax museum it was great! they had people there like princess diana, michael jackson, david beckham.. they had EVERYONE famous you can think of pretty much. we got some pretty good pictures so if you're ever on facebook check out my albums! we went to the people's square which is a really cool block blocked off from traffic (except this little train that takes you on tours around the block.. it look like a little toy train but can fit a surprising amount of people in it!) and the street in lined with shopping areas, restaurants, bars. it's a great place to go at night! the neon lights are amazing! we went up to the VEERRRYYY top of the oriental pearl tower. it's the third highest tower in the world. the inside was incredible! when you are finished viewing, instead of taking an elevator down you go through a bar/restaurant, and two different museums. one if a museum of old chinese culture and the other is a space museum. random. and there is a roller coaster inside. ji hye is scared of things that like so we didn't go. it's no fun to go alone. it takes about two hours to get through the whole thing but you're never lacking entertainment. shanghai was so nice because there were so many foreigners! now when i'm back in weihai and i see a foreigner i don't feel an irrisistable urge to run up to them and introduce myself. that's a good thing :) we met a lot of people.. it was surprisingly hard though to find foreigners who spoke english! we met a group of asian people from australia. i spoke more chinese than they did it was hilarious! we hung out with them for the rest of the week. i went on the super train! it covers (i forget how many miles, but driving by car it takes about an hour) but this super train cover the same amount of ground in a shocking 8 minutes! it was a little scary but so worth it! i think it's the fastest one in the world. so that's kinda cool. we also went to this place called Xin Tian Di almost every night which is a place that is all renaissance style buildings and it's all blocked off from traffic and it's cobblestone streets strewn with fancy outdoor restaurants and clubs. it was really cool to see. i wish my pictures turned out better they don't do most of the scenery justice at all. what else did we do? we went to the Yu Yuan gardens, which was INCREDIBLE! what kind of architecture do you think of when you think of china? i hope it's those curved topped roofs and dragons and things like that. yeah this whole part of the city is buiding upon building in traditional chinese architecture. so beautiful! and there was market upon market! (ANNND a starbucks!) then when you get into the actualy garden it's beautiful! it's so hard to describe. it was buing during the Quing dynasty i believe and it was so cool to imagine all the emporers and other people walking through that exact garden (although a lot of it had been restored so there were very few ORIGINAL parts). that was a ridiculously hot day though! actually everyday in shanghai was ridiculously hot! you take five steps in any direction and you're completely soaked. it was nuts. we didn't do the river cruise.. after so many days of go-go tourism you just want to relax.. so we'll hit that next time. we did a lot of shopping in some of the famous shopping centers.... A LOT. haha. it was a good time. found some good deals. we went through these tunnels.. the brochure made them seem incredible.. but if you ever get to shanghai.. don't waste your time!! really.. i generally like everything i try.. but these tunnels were LAME! but they were in a great location. they were in a place called The bund which is crazily crowded with people. it's a cement path that winds along the Huangpu river, and has the loading dock for the river cruise. it's a nice place, and it's easy to see why it's craawling with people all the time. i got my eyebrow pierced! haha.. did somethign random.. all that heat plays with your mind. i'm lucky i stopped at the piercing and didn't get a whole sleeve of tattoos! we checked out a Buddha temple. it was really beautiful. it was sad.. there were so many idols. and the size of them! there are bell towers and drum towers. most of this is all included in my pictures. people come into the temple grounds and they buy prayer incence sticks and light on fire on these big coal pitts and then they stand in the middle of the courtyard and bow to all four surrounding walls holding the prayer sticks either in front of them or over their heads. it was interesting. when they're finished praying they lay the sticks on the side of the coal pitt and leave them to burn. like i said.. interesting...but sad.
so that's all i can think of as of now for shanghai. getting back to weihai was NICE! the pace is slower, the air is cooler and there's an OCEAN! the day after we got back we went straight to the beach for the day. we bought our rubber water tubes and floated in the water all day. well we stayed in the water until we swam into a HUGE jellyfish. those things feels DISGUSTING!! i was swimming and felt somethign jelly and screamed louder than i have for a long time and looked and it was a little jellyfish, and then the deeper we got the more i saw everywhere and then all of a sudden this HUGE giant mother jellyfish came out of nowhere! we're lucky we didn't get stung. that thing could have killed. we paddled our tubes as fast as we could outta there.
so for the summer prgram we got two new teachers. both are from england. one teacher's name in johnathan and the other is Essy. actually the other WAS Essy.. she was a bit of a princess and when she found out she couldn't have her own apartment she left so we are short one teacher now and so we have an extra week off. ok with with me :) although i am missing some of my students a bit. we found a replacement teacher who is from america, her name is Jenna.. she's coming tomorrow. i guess she'll be my new roommate for a month. either mine or johnathan's... but i'm pretty sure she would probably rather live with me haha but who knows.
today me and johathan went rock climbing! it was SO nice. we climbed up this big mountain and had such a spectacular view. after that we walked through town and stopped for some street food and i showed him around the night market. it was fun. i love china. you see so many random things in a night. you wouldn't believe this place unless you were here. every minute something unexpected is happening. you're never lacking entertainment in any degree. sorry guys i'm never coming home! haha.. i'm ruined! tomorrow we're going out in the morning to see if we can get out on a fishing boat. can't wait! i've been wanting to try fishing here since before i came!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
hi readers
hey!
ok i know it's been a LOONG time since i've blogged, but for some reason i've had a hard time signing into this thang. it's all fixed now. clearly... so yeah! not a awhole lot is new... sad i know. as of yesterday afternoon i'm officially on holidays!! so exciting! me and Ji Hye are going to Shanghai for two weeks-ish. it's oging to be SO nice to be a tourist and not a teacher, for a short time at least. i'm sure i'll miss the classroom by the end of the break. i had some before-summer-vacation partied with my classes so the last week was so relaxing! today i went to a korean production play at one of the theatrical theaters in this city. it was fun! of course i didn't understand what they were saying, but i think i got the point of the story. mainly because it was a comedic production of romeo and juliet. asian style. it was really interesting. the costumes were so authentic! it looked like i was watching Mulan. i love this culture! and then after we all went out for dinner. tomorrow we might go to the beach. just because we can. haha.. so nice to be in a weekend and able to sleep in! i wish we were leaving a little sooner for Shanghai, but Ji Hye has her final exam at university on tuesday, but right after she's done we're OUTTA HERE!!! i'll have LOTS to say after i get back. we're going to do EVERYTHING! we're staying in a hostel.. creepy.. but i'll get over it. and we're taking a 15 hour bus trip there :) :) :) nothing new to me haha. well thanks for being patient with me, and i'll have a FULL long update in two weeks!!!! bye bye!
ok i know it's been a LOONG time since i've blogged, but for some reason i've had a hard time signing into this thang. it's all fixed now. clearly... so yeah! not a awhole lot is new... sad i know. as of yesterday afternoon i'm officially on holidays!! so exciting! me and Ji Hye are going to Shanghai for two weeks-ish. it's oging to be SO nice to be a tourist and not a teacher, for a short time at least. i'm sure i'll miss the classroom by the end of the break. i had some before-summer-vacation partied with my classes so the last week was so relaxing! today i went to a korean production play at one of the theatrical theaters in this city. it was fun! of course i didn't understand what they were saying, but i think i got the point of the story. mainly because it was a comedic production of romeo and juliet. asian style. it was really interesting. the costumes were so authentic! it looked like i was watching Mulan. i love this culture! and then after we all went out for dinner. tomorrow we might go to the beach. just because we can. haha.. so nice to be in a weekend and able to sleep in! i wish we were leaving a little sooner for Shanghai, but Ji Hye has her final exam at university on tuesday, but right after she's done we're OUTTA HERE!!! i'll have LOTS to say after i get back. we're going to do EVERYTHING! we're staying in a hostel.. creepy.. but i'll get over it. and we're taking a 15 hour bus trip there :) :) :) nothing new to me haha. well thanks for being patient with me, and i'll have a FULL long update in two weeks!!!! bye bye!
Monday, June 25, 2007
hey it's been a few days since i blogged! a couple random things have happened. neither were particularly great. first... this weekend i suddenly got reallly sick. it was something like the flu, but i was in so much pain i couldn't sleep. and i had to work at 9 the next morning! so after dragging myself through that day of work (pretty much every class was major free time! haha.. lucky kids!) i went to my first chinese "hospital." it was more like a hostel! it had two rooms.. one where the two doctors sat and ate watermelon, and another that had three beds in it. they layed me on a bed and hooked me up to an IV and drained three bottles of mysterious chinese medicine into me. it seriously works like magic! i went in there feeling like i might die and walked out three hours later feeling like i had never been sick! i love china!
today me and Ji Hye were planning on getting up early to take a bus to Yentai.. a nearby city.. just to satisfy our anxiousness for some time off to travel. buuuuuut getting up at 6 just wasn't happening. we opted for a local japanese restaurant and the amusement park. i rode the viking! she made me do it alone though! she was too scared. it's this big ship that swings really high in both directions... we have them at home. i sat in the middle like a chicken.... next time i'll brave a backseat. and tonight... me and Ji Hye had our first pervert attack on the way home from shopping tonight. it was nothing serious.. but i just can't help but wonder what could have happened is Ji Hye wasn't with me. hopefully that's the only thing of that nature that happens while i'm here. tomorrow the first thing i'm doing is getting a keychain pepperspray haha. i'm ok. just a little shaken up. well i should try to get some sleep. have a good day everyone!!! :)
today me and Ji Hye were planning on getting up early to take a bus to Yentai.. a nearby city.. just to satisfy our anxiousness for some time off to travel. buuuuuut getting up at 6 just wasn't happening. we opted for a local japanese restaurant and the amusement park. i rode the viking! she made me do it alone though! she was too scared. it's this big ship that swings really high in both directions... we have them at home. i sat in the middle like a chicken.... next time i'll brave a backseat. and tonight... me and Ji Hye had our first pervert attack on the way home from shopping tonight. it was nothing serious.. but i just can't help but wonder what could have happened is Ji Hye wasn't with me. hopefully that's the only thing of that nature that happens while i'm here. tomorrow the first thing i'm doing is getting a keychain pepperspray haha. i'm ok. just a little shaken up. well i should try to get some sleep. have a good day everyone!!! :)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
GOODBYE TEENAGER-HOOD!
hey!
so my birthday was SO fun! it was the best one i've had in a couple years i think! my students had a huge surprise party for me when i got to school. there was a cake, and chicken, and lots of candles, and they wrote WE LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY! all over the whiteboard. it was so sweet. it of course escalated into an all-out cake fight! initiated by.. me. oops! haha. it was so fun. and then after work i went home and Ji Hye and our friend Mariah were there because we were planning on going out to our favourite club that night. and they had surprise presents for me! it was so sweet! and then we went to the club (it's called 2046... easy to remember.. and pronounce!) and last week me and Ji Hye had made friends with some of the bartenders there, and when we got to 2046 they had a surprise party waiting for me tehre too! they bought this HIGE embarrassing display of flowers, and a cake (which also turned into another minor cake fight) and they got the DJ to say happy birthday to me, and sing an english birthday song! it was so sweet. it really was a great time. i can't believe i'm 20! bring it on! haha. i think these are going to be the best years of my life so far. young. single. travelling. i'm excited!
so i have some EXCELLENT news for all of you who witnessed my really devestating grad performance. yesterday me and Ji Hye and Jerry went to karaoke in the middle of the day, and i saw THAT Celine Dion song.... so i figured today is the day i put that song in it's place! and i did! i nailed it! haha.. so if i died tomorrow i could rest in total peace! well i have some teaching to do pretty soon.. but have a fantastic day!
so my birthday was SO fun! it was the best one i've had in a couple years i think! my students had a huge surprise party for me when i got to school. there was a cake, and chicken, and lots of candles, and they wrote WE LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY! all over the whiteboard. it was so sweet. it of course escalated into an all-out cake fight! initiated by.. me. oops! haha. it was so fun. and then after work i went home and Ji Hye and our friend Mariah were there because we were planning on going out to our favourite club that night. and they had surprise presents for me! it was so sweet! and then we went to the club (it's called 2046... easy to remember.. and pronounce!) and last week me and Ji Hye had made friends with some of the bartenders there, and when we got to 2046 they had a surprise party waiting for me tehre too! they bought this HIGE embarrassing display of flowers, and a cake (which also turned into another minor cake fight) and they got the DJ to say happy birthday to me, and sing an english birthday song! it was so sweet. it really was a great time. i can't believe i'm 20! bring it on! haha. i think these are going to be the best years of my life so far. young. single. travelling. i'm excited!
so i have some EXCELLENT news for all of you who witnessed my really devestating grad performance. yesterday me and Ji Hye and Jerry went to karaoke in the middle of the day, and i saw THAT Celine Dion song.... so i figured today is the day i put that song in it's place! and i did! i nailed it! haha.. so if i died tomorrow i could rest in total peace! well i have some teaching to do pretty soon.. but have a fantastic day!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
hey!
so i know it's been a few days.. but it's been a BUSY week! i'm getting tired! haha... but even being tired is NO excuse for an EMBARRASSING mistake i made in the classroom the other day! so.. i took Karen's advice about playing review X's and O's (great idea by the way!) and i thought i would throw in a question that would leave them stumped because they were doing so well. so i asked... "what is the capitol of Canada?" they were quiet for awhile and then a girl shouted "Toronto!" i was like "Wow! that's incredible! you get a huge O for that! i'm impressed!" then this 11 year old boy in the class stood up and said "that's not the capital of Canada! Ottawa is!" so me being the stubborn person that i can...sometimes... be, i tried to argue my point (more trying to save my face than wanting to be right!) haha.. but he was right. we all had a relaly good laugh about it after. so sorry canada! i suck! haha.
ok.. so tonight i tried THE ULTIMATE in food. .. after work Jenny took me and her family out for dinner to this beautiful restaurant in a popular hotel here. so we were eating our sushi.. it was good.. then the Fu Yuen (waitress) brought in these plates and suddenly everyone looked at me. i was like.. huh? then i looked at the plate, and there was a heaping pile of writhing squid tentacles. i can only imagine how my face looked but everyone just started laughing. this is a korean delicacy i guess... and as previously mentioned it's rude to not try EVERYTHING. so... i picked up my chopstick and chased down a crawling tentacle. i accidentally dropped it on my plate and it was twirling around and suctioning itself to my plate. haha.. it was hard to convince it to come off of there! it was like a leech! but eventually my chopsticks got the best of it, and i help it up to look at it. it's suction cups were flaring furiously, and it was wiggling around like a worm. it was so unsettling, but again everyone was waiting for me to put it in my mouth. so put it in my mouth i did. i chewed it as fast as i coul dbefore it could wiggle around in there. then Ji Hye took one and was letting it crawl in and out of her mouth.. haha.. it was disgusting! so now.. having tried that... i think i can handle anything! even the sea cucumber would be nothing in comparison! haha. well anyway.. that's all that's new here right now. if anyone comes to visit they are definately going to be initiated with those things... mwahahahahaha...
so i know it's been a few days.. but it's been a BUSY week! i'm getting tired! haha... but even being tired is NO excuse for an EMBARRASSING mistake i made in the classroom the other day! so.. i took Karen's advice about playing review X's and O's (great idea by the way!) and i thought i would throw in a question that would leave them stumped because they were doing so well. so i asked... "what is the capitol of Canada?" they were quiet for awhile and then a girl shouted "Toronto!" i was like "Wow! that's incredible! you get a huge O for that! i'm impressed!" then this 11 year old boy in the class stood up and said "that's not the capital of Canada! Ottawa is!" so me being the stubborn person that i can...sometimes... be, i tried to argue my point (more trying to save my face than wanting to be right!) haha.. but he was right. we all had a relaly good laugh about it after. so sorry canada! i suck! haha.
ok.. so tonight i tried THE ULTIMATE in food. .. after work Jenny took me and her family out for dinner to this beautiful restaurant in a popular hotel here. so we were eating our sushi.. it was good.. then the Fu Yuen (waitress) brought in these plates and suddenly everyone looked at me. i was like.. huh? then i looked at the plate, and there was a heaping pile of writhing squid tentacles. i can only imagine how my face looked but everyone just started laughing. this is a korean delicacy i guess... and as previously mentioned it's rude to not try EVERYTHING. so... i picked up my chopstick and chased down a crawling tentacle. i accidentally dropped it on my plate and it was twirling around and suctioning itself to my plate. haha.. it was hard to convince it to come off of there! it was like a leech! but eventually my chopsticks got the best of it, and i help it up to look at it. it's suction cups were flaring furiously, and it was wiggling around like a worm. it was so unsettling, but again everyone was waiting for me to put it in my mouth. so put it in my mouth i did. i chewed it as fast as i coul dbefore it could wiggle around in there. then Ji Hye took one and was letting it crawl in and out of her mouth.. haha.. it was disgusting! so now.. having tried that... i think i can handle anything! even the sea cucumber would be nothing in comparison! haha. well anyway.. that's all that's new here right now. if anyone comes to visit they are definately going to be initiated with those things... mwahahahahaha...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
KOREAN SAUNA
i just had the best night of my chinese life! me, mariah, nancy, and ji hye went to a korean sauna. i have never felt so good, (or so exposed.) These sauna's however are not for the faint of heart, the weak of stomach, and MOST DEFINATELY not for the shy!
so as soon as we got to the sauna, we removed our shoes, got a key and went up a carpeted staircase to the locker room. (that carpet by the way is the only carpet i have seen since i've been here so it only made the stay all the more luxurious) as soon as you get to the locker room, you leave your inhabitions at the door and strip down. haha. i feel really close with my new friends now. they know more about me than some friends i've had all my life! when you're 'prepared' you step into the shower roomand bath room. there is a wall lines with open showers, and opposite that wall is three large square pools. one is really hot, one is mediocre, and one is verrry cold. when you're showered and clean you go into the first hot pool, then proceed your way to the cold one. when you're finished with that you dry off, and go back to the locker room. there you're given funny little outfits to wear. then wen you have your funny little outfits on you go out into a little restaurant and sit on the floor indian style. then you have some dinner! i was soooo hungry by this time. we went straight to the sauna after school. when you're done eating you go into a large room, and the floor is covered in straw mats and there are people lying around on them. there area few small tables that you sit indian style at again, and some people were playing some chinese board games, and others were watching the huge screened tv's. all were wearing this weird robe-out fit things we were given. this was the only co-ed room... for obvious reasons. it was the only room people weren't naked! then at the back of the room there are caves. yup.. those are the saunas. when you get inside, you sit on the straw mats, and use sandbags as pillows if you want to lay down. it felt sooo good to sit in there and just sweat. it reminded me a little of the crazy heat in guatemala! when it gets too hot to stand you go and sit on the sloor at one of the little tables. when we sat down , one of the waiters brought a plate with four eggs - shells and all- to our table and a plate of salt. i guess they burn the eggs in the shells on the same stones they use for the sauna. when you open the egg it's either dark brown or black. it looked gross but it was good! smoked egg.. yummy. then they bring you this AMAZING ice cream thing. it's literally ice and cream. crushed ice with beans, and rice cake on top of sweet cream. it was sooooo good. and then you get some bubble tea. felt so nice after that hot sweaty sauna. then we played a chinese board game. it was similar to x's and o's, but you use coloured stones. (i'll show you when i get back!) then after that we went back to the locker room, gave back our robes and went back into the shower room. after dipping in the three pools again you go and lay down on a massage table. but instead of a massage a woman with a pumice mitt on comes and scrubs alllll of the dead skin off allllllll of your body. i really think i lost a pound there! haha. that took about half an hour. they oil you all up then just go to town on you. we all got to lay in the same room together so that was fun. less awkward. then after that you go and shower for a final time, and then you're done. and you even get to keep the pumice mitt!! wa hoo! at least that way you know they use a new one on you every time! i have never felt this good ever i don't think. i feel so smooth and so relaxed. i've never been to a spa before, but this really felt like it! i will most definately be going again!
so as soon as we got to the sauna, we removed our shoes, got a key and went up a carpeted staircase to the locker room. (that carpet by the way is the only carpet i have seen since i've been here so it only made the stay all the more luxurious) as soon as you get to the locker room, you leave your inhabitions at the door and strip down. haha. i feel really close with my new friends now. they know more about me than some friends i've had all my life! when you're 'prepared' you step into the shower roomand bath room. there is a wall lines with open showers, and opposite that wall is three large square pools. one is really hot, one is mediocre, and one is verrry cold. when you're showered and clean you go into the first hot pool, then proceed your way to the cold one. when you're finished with that you dry off, and go back to the locker room. there you're given funny little outfits to wear. then wen you have your funny little outfits on you go out into a little restaurant and sit on the floor indian style. then you have some dinner! i was soooo hungry by this time. we went straight to the sauna after school. when you're done eating you go into a large room, and the floor is covered in straw mats and there are people lying around on them. there area few small tables that you sit indian style at again, and some people were playing some chinese board games, and others were watching the huge screened tv's. all were wearing this weird robe-out fit things we were given. this was the only co-ed room... for obvious reasons. it was the only room people weren't naked! then at the back of the room there are caves. yup.. those are the saunas. when you get inside, you sit on the straw mats, and use sandbags as pillows if you want to lay down. it felt sooo good to sit in there and just sweat. it reminded me a little of the crazy heat in guatemala! when it gets too hot to stand you go and sit on the sloor at one of the little tables. when we sat down , one of the waiters brought a plate with four eggs - shells and all- to our table and a plate of salt. i guess they burn the eggs in the shells on the same stones they use for the sauna. when you open the egg it's either dark brown or black. it looked gross but it was good! smoked egg.. yummy. then they bring you this AMAZING ice cream thing. it's literally ice and cream. crushed ice with beans, and rice cake on top of sweet cream. it was sooooo good. and then you get some bubble tea. felt so nice after that hot sweaty sauna. then we played a chinese board game. it was similar to x's and o's, but you use coloured stones. (i'll show you when i get back!) then after that we went back to the locker room, gave back our robes and went back into the shower room. after dipping in the three pools again you go and lay down on a massage table. but instead of a massage a woman with a pumice mitt on comes and scrubs alllll of the dead skin off allllllll of your body. i really think i lost a pound there! haha. that took about half an hour. they oil you all up then just go to town on you. we all got to lay in the same room together so that was fun. less awkward. then after that you go and shower for a final time, and then you're done. and you even get to keep the pumice mitt!! wa hoo! at least that way you know they use a new one on you every time! i have never felt this good ever i don't think. i feel so smooth and so relaxed. i've never been to a spa before, but this really felt like it! i will most definately be going again!
oh sooo niiiice
well today was Jenny's birthday!! wa hoo!... it was fun. we all went out for dinner.. ate WAYYYY too much again..(story of my recent life).... and then all of the girls (me, nancy, Ji Hye, and Jenny) went out for massages. wow it was sooo goood. i put some pictures up on my facebook. it was hilarious... me and ji hye got girl massagers and then in walks this young handsome chinese guy to massage her mom. it really was her special day! they were intense foot massages (next time we're doing the whole body thang!) and ji hye is really ticklish so she just laughed through the whooole thing. my feet have never felt so happy. it was so fun. tomorrow night me and mariah, and ji hye and nancy are going to a korean sauna. i guess they're really neat. although it's the bare all type.. o well! i'm here for the experience! haha. i'll be sure to have a full detailed report tomorrow ;) alright... i'm going to bed.. keep smilin :)
yeahhhhhhhhh
SOOO as it turns out i don't think i'll be up for winning the "most clever of the human race" award anytime soon... haha.. i managed the other night to give myself a little concussion. most people would consider climbing on seaweed covered steps at night wearin only sandals as maybe not being a super fantastic idea. well... tried and true. you're right! i thought i was being ohhhh sooo careful.. but i slipped and smashed my head on a higher step. i was still a little woozy today in class and my arms are all scraped up.. but it was pretty hilarious at the time. i swear.. i'll be more careful... i don't REALLY enjoy looking like the product of someone's fury.
so, karen remember when we gorged ourselves on cherries at Gary and Rene's that one time in Regina? well... i've been making that a lifestyle these days! there are always people with wagons filled with cherries all over the place, and you pay 10 RMB for a bag full.. and so easily eat the whole thing while your walking around. so far that's been an everyday occurance. you think i'd be sick of them by now! o well.. better a bag of them than a bag of chocolate.. although that does sound pretty good right now...it's so nice!
tonight me and Ji Hye went to the government building... you walk up a million steps and it's surrounded by a huge park and a waterfountain. and you can just sit there and watch the whole city. and people crowd around there to play hackey sack... leap frog... have a waterfight in the fountain.. you know whatever youre into... and i can't believe how many couples there are here!!! especially at night! that's when they all come out. it's like bible college.
i tried some weird things lately... some little snail things... i've always wanted to try escargot.. that's the closest thing i've come to so far. and i ate some sea cucumber... it was gross. but it was given to me when we went for dinner with the government people, and it's rude to not try everything.. so i had to choke it down. yummmmy. another strange thing was jellyfish. i thought it would have the texture of a squid.. but it was really gritty. those clams are still the best seafood i've EVER had. it would seriously be worth the flight here just to try them! so i can expect you all for dinner?
classes are still going good...i'm getting to know my students and my colleagues better so that always makes things more easy-going. i'm teaching my high school class how to write a business letter though ... HOW do you make that interesting!!?? the only way i can think of is to just skip that unit altogether! o well.. i'll think of something...
One of the teachers who finised teaching at little fox about a year ago is coming to visit tomorrow. he's 24 and from the states so it'll be cool to meet him. oh yeah! haha.. i met an italian foreigner the other day! i was pretty excited because foreigners are so rare around here.. but it was kind of ruined because he thought he was a pretty smooth guy... sorry! not interested! well anyway i should get to bed.. it's 1am here... i've had a hard time sleeping this week to i'll take what i can get!
well see you later! hope you're amazing!
so, karen remember when we gorged ourselves on cherries at Gary and Rene's that one time in Regina? well... i've been making that a lifestyle these days! there are always people with wagons filled with cherries all over the place, and you pay 10 RMB for a bag full.. and so easily eat the whole thing while your walking around. so far that's been an everyday occurance. you think i'd be sick of them by now! o well.. better a bag of them than a bag of chocolate.. although that does sound pretty good right now...it's so nice!
tonight me and Ji Hye went to the government building... you walk up a million steps and it's surrounded by a huge park and a waterfountain. and you can just sit there and watch the whole city. and people crowd around there to play hackey sack... leap frog... have a waterfight in the fountain.. you know whatever youre into... and i can't believe how many couples there are here!!! especially at night! that's when they all come out. it's like bible college.
i tried some weird things lately... some little snail things... i've always wanted to try escargot.. that's the closest thing i've come to so far. and i ate some sea cucumber... it was gross. but it was given to me when we went for dinner with the government people, and it's rude to not try everything.. so i had to choke it down. yummmmy. another strange thing was jellyfish. i thought it would have the texture of a squid.. but it was really gritty. those clams are still the best seafood i've EVER had. it would seriously be worth the flight here just to try them! so i can expect you all for dinner?
classes are still going good...i'm getting to know my students and my colleagues better so that always makes things more easy-going. i'm teaching my high school class how to write a business letter though ... HOW do you make that interesting!!?? the only way i can think of is to just skip that unit altogether! o well.. i'll think of something...
One of the teachers who finised teaching at little fox about a year ago is coming to visit tomorrow. he's 24 and from the states so it'll be cool to meet him. oh yeah! haha.. i met an italian foreigner the other day! i was pretty excited because foreigners are so rare around here.. but it was kind of ruined because he thought he was a pretty smooth guy... sorry! not interested! well anyway i should get to bed.. it's 1am here... i've had a hard time sleeping this week to i'll take what i can get!
well see you later! hope you're amazing!
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