Friday, February 18, 2011

where there's a pile of ashes there's a symbol of new beginnings

yesterday while reading Oswald's suggested bible reference i came across something that blew my mind! maybe its one of those experiences that is really vivid to the person experiencing it and not so much for someone who has to hear about it second hand... but either way... im throwing it down! i have to.
i want to talk about Elijah and Elisha.
i don't want to butcher the story by paraphrasing so i'll let Biblegateway do the recounting. The first part of 1 Kings 19 is really important to sift through but i'm going to skip down to 1 Kings 19:19..

The Call of Elisha.

19 So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him.
20 Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.”

“Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?”

21 So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.

what??? that's incredible! as far as i could tell Elisha didn't know Elijah from any other strange man running onto fields throwing cloaks at people. (I did a little research and discovered that the act of casting your cloak on someone is a symbol of adoption because a father naturally clothes his children. There was an immediate mutual understanding of a father/son/mentor relationship between them.)
then there is the fact that Elisha is plowing with 12 teams of oxen. he must have had an incredible estate to be plowing around that amount of livestock! to follow this man he didn't know into a life of uncertainty would be a considerable amount of material loss, as well as the loss whatever social status he may have possessed.
But he did it! and not only did he agree to leave the life he knew, and the life he was living quite successfully to follow and serve his new leader.. he did so much more! he turned around, slaughtered his livestock and then proceeded to BURN his farming equipment to create a fire to cook his own farewell banquet. He could have bought a cow for slaughter, he could have chopped down a tree, could have hired a caterer, could have sold his cows and equipment, or he could have just kissed his parents goodbye and not even bothered with the mess. but he made a choice! he made the choice to leave his life and wander into a journey unknown and the thought of returning to the life he once had was not even an option. By the worlds standards this man was crazy. Insane even! but he had discovered something far more valuable than equipment, cows, social status or even family... he had the call of God on his life and he went on to conquer and rule and live a life much more abundant than the one he left... all because of an act of faith and obedience. his decision to destroy the things tying him to where he was at was a symbol of the concrete decision he had made. No turning back.
This story really challenged and inspired me! if Elisha can follow a stranger into a new life by the coordinating of God then how much more should i be willing to burn the things that hinder me to follow God himself, who I do know? God, who has cloaked me in life by his death and adopted me as his heiress and his daughter. i want to live my life in an act of obedience that doesn't take convincing or hesitation. When God asks me to do something, or go somewhere i want to slaughter cows! probably not literally... but whatever kind of attitude, possession, concept or fear is holding me back from living in the freedom of obedience i want to let it burn without a fight TRUSTING that whatever he has asked of me will be worth far more than whatever it was i was holding onto.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

dear valentines day...

... you can suck it. just kidding! as much as i harsh on this overly glorified excuse for consumers to consume, marketers to market and people to just be annoyingly strung out on cheap chocolate and love songs, i do hope that the ones who value it do have great success in wooing the ones they love, and discovering unique ways to do so.
to have one day dedicated to love isn't an absolutely horrid offense.. people seem friendlier, the air seems softer.. and try as i might i can't help but scheme what extravagant things i would be doing for Darren if i was a believer in such a day as this.
for this ONE day so many people put work aside, schedules aside, barriers (internal like pride and external like distance) aside and dote on the object of their affection without distraction.
But, i don't want my love for Darren, or anyone else to be isolated for exaltation within the 24 hour window of February 14th. i want to be extending expressions of Love Himself to those around me within the entirety of all 8,765.81277 hours of the year.
so here's to the ones i love: this is our 1,056th hour together this year. there have been laughing hours, crying hours, freaking cold hours, and really cozy hours. hours that were filled with expectation, with disappointment, growth and changes. i cherish them all and i can't wait to love you through the 7709.81277 we have left of this year. enjoy your chocolate :)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

scribbles....

so. i've been thinkin about love and all of that...and i only have a few minutes so i'm just going to scratch down what i can for now :)
i'm about to marry (in about 4 months) a man of integrity, wisdom, creativity, and full of a soul beauty that is nearly indescribable. i'm very blessed by the gift of him in my life. he challenges me, encourages me, supports me, and is even patient with ME! haha.. strong fella...
so naturally with all of this happening it really causes me to reflect on what i think love is and how i show it.
i refer back to the classic 1 corinthians 13 passage often as a measuring stick for how i'm doing when it comes to loving others.. i fall short every time! i'll have one or two things on there checked off but for the most part this manifestion of love is something i aspire to. lust is so much easier! but where is the reward in that? with lust there is little to no involvement of the heart and it goes against everything that love is made up of. lust is self-seeking and murderous to everyone involved, while love is selfless and life giving. lust is the path of least resistance and it leads to emptiness and decay. love brings you into wholeness and meaning through a process of purification that brings out your true beautiful self. and the true beautiful selves of the people you are loving.
Jesus asks us to lay down our lives for others, but i don't think he always means this in a literal sense. if we had to jump in front of a bus for someone, we would die and some newspaper would probably glorify us and it would be done. BUT in the sense that i think Jesus actually means this, it is a much more difficult thing he asks of us. i believe he is asking us to lay down our lives for others while we still live. to put aside our self-seeking attitudes and put the interest of others ahead of our own. we have to make the choice to go against our selfish nature and act out of character by putting others first. not just putting them first in theory or in thought but in action.
our privilege to be able to love others, particularly love one person in the intimate marriage relationship is a little slice of heaven here on earth. its a small personification of a bigger, more heavenly picture. it parallels so easily with relationship with Jesus, and i think thats the point.
marriage is not for everyone, but somewhat contradictory to what Paul says, i think that those who are called to the ministry of marriage are so blessed! they learn a side of daily sacrificial love that is by no means easy but is so rewarding!
to learn how to bring my bitterness, my self interest, my pride.. and pile it on top of an alter to be burned in sacrifice is so hard but there's no other way i would want to do it. and i know i have a whole lot more sacrificing to do and it will be a daily choice, and i wont always make the right one. but this whole process excites me :)
anyway... i have a plane to catch.