i stood feeling a little humbled and foolish after i hung up the cafe phone. one of the girls i work with had called down from the office to chat and as an after thought decided she wanted a cinnamon bun. we didnt have any left out on the counter
so she knew id have to pull it from the freezer. not ideal for taste. ive heard excellent things about these buns we have but have yet to try a fresh one. ive had the frozen ones but i think the promised magic they hold dies in a cold environment.
she said that since it was frozen she should get it for free. i laughed and said i could look the other way this one time. to which she responded:
"if by look the other way you mean put it on my tab then ok. thats the honest, christian thing to do."
it was said good naturedly but it stuck with me for the remainder of the evening in the back of my mind. i was very willing and ready to just hand it over to her without a second thought. it made me wonder what other areas in my life i allow room for compromises that are not within my power to be giving. or taking.
when we have friends (i use "we"loosely and generally..) who work at certain places usually they pull strings and get us discounts or free stuff or in some way or another bend and stretch rules to accommodate us. we get special treatment
because we have some kind of relationship with them. i find that i often treat my relationship with Jesus like this. its not necessarily a bad thing.. it does have biblical merit (read Romans.. all of it). when we enter into a relationship with him we are given special 'privileges' such as: eternal life after death! forgiveness of sins, wholeness and purpose, spiritual giftings, the opportunity to partner with him in his divine commission...BUT just because we are called to be friends, brothers, sisters, and lovers of Jesus this doesn't exempt us from our call to live righteously. if anything it should spur us on in a new ambitious desire TO live righteously. the ways that this can be taken out of context and abused is when we start to think with an attitude that makes us feel deserving of these privileges and so exempt from certain integrities. and this attitude can even give us the audacity to advise others with our clouded perception. when we say to ourselves or others: "Jesus knows where your heart is so he'll understand if you..." or "we really want to wait for the right reasons but we're going to be getting married anyway so what is the huge deal if we..." it becomes easy to justify things away and small allowances will eventually lead to bigger ones.
ultimately we need to remain faithful in the calling to be holy because He is holy.. to be faithful even in the seemingly insignificant things, and our hearts will long to be honest, to be integrous, rules won't look like rules but as a way of worship and expressing our love....
this is something i need to be more consciously applying to MY moment by moment living...
now i've got a mad crave on for some cinnabon!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
just a thought...
i'm at the front of the long row of traffic all waiting for the light to turn green. engines revving, impatience contorting the face of every driver. they all have places to go and people to see and this blasted red light is keeping them from it all.
imagination kicks in.
i drum my fingers on the gear shifter in what is now my 1970 stingray corvette. my getaway car. the people around me are no longer fellow citizens but cops with a radar that has zeroed in on me. green eyes turn gray. the light turns green. i throw the engine into gear and speed ahead, weaving in and out of any traffic in my way, knowing that if they catch up to me its all over. i imagine lights and radios, and helicopters beating overhead. they all are after a menace on the loose and if they catch me its prison for sure.
i make it safely to my destination and my car turns back into a cobalt, everyone else turns back into regular strangers on their individual quests in life, and i am no longer a wanted criminal.
but what a cheap thrill!
but why?
there's something about rebellion that feels powerful and drug-like.
the darker side of me sometimes emerges wearing a microscopic black leather cat-woman-esque suit, bringing with it a lust for wreaking havoc.
imagining i'm someone that other people fearfully move out of the way for when they see me coming because they can sense that the path i'm walking leaves a wake of broken hearts and destruction.
just a powerful glance can make people come or go and bend at my will.
made up of lips that poison and curves that kill.
no pleasure is out of bounds.
i don't care who gets in the way.
they don't stand any other chance but to lay in ruin at my feet...
then i snap out of it and praise God that i don't live there anymore! i take off the faded suit and re-robe myself in modesty and humility.
sometimes the seductive advances of the world are magnetic and appeal to the parts of me that have tasted it.
could it be that maybe this was part of God's human design? the draw to do things out of character and to rebel against the world exists in everyone i've ever talked to. but it often has a negative stigma attached to it because we often rebel the wrong way. what if we took the seduction out of it and saw it as a call to be holy? a call to do things out of OUR character and in CHRISTS character. to rebel against the new religion of non-religion. to be outrageously counter-cultural and walk in the power of the Spirit instead of our own. there is no pleasure that satisfies more and no drug that could duplicate the effects. if we see it as a call to holy rebellion and not an opportunity to gratify the flesh while creating a crumbling throne to self then it takes a dying to self. two completely opposite directions.
if we could, in the midst of seduction, see an opportunity to flip it in the opposite direction and turn it into a kingdom-furthering behaviour how pissed would satan be? the plucking at the strings of our selfishness is among his most commonly used weapons in his arsenal. and with a change of perspective we could render it useless!
anyway.. like i said.. its just a thought.
imagination kicks in.
i drum my fingers on the gear shifter in what is now my 1970 stingray corvette. my getaway car. the people around me are no longer fellow citizens but cops with a radar that has zeroed in on me. green eyes turn gray. the light turns green. i throw the engine into gear and speed ahead, weaving in and out of any traffic in my way, knowing that if they catch up to me its all over. i imagine lights and radios, and helicopters beating overhead. they all are after a menace on the loose and if they catch me its prison for sure.
i make it safely to my destination and my car turns back into a cobalt, everyone else turns back into regular strangers on their individual quests in life, and i am no longer a wanted criminal.
but what a cheap thrill!
but why?
there's something about rebellion that feels powerful and drug-like.
the darker side of me sometimes emerges wearing a microscopic black leather cat-woman-esque suit, bringing with it a lust for wreaking havoc.
imagining i'm someone that other people fearfully move out of the way for when they see me coming because they can sense that the path i'm walking leaves a wake of broken hearts and destruction.
just a powerful glance can make people come or go and bend at my will.
made up of lips that poison and curves that kill.
no pleasure is out of bounds.
i don't care who gets in the way.
they don't stand any other chance but to lay in ruin at my feet...
then i snap out of it and praise God that i don't live there anymore! i take off the faded suit and re-robe myself in modesty and humility.
sometimes the seductive advances of the world are magnetic and appeal to the parts of me that have tasted it.
could it be that maybe this was part of God's human design? the draw to do things out of character and to rebel against the world exists in everyone i've ever talked to. but it often has a negative stigma attached to it because we often rebel the wrong way. what if we took the seduction out of it and saw it as a call to be holy? a call to do things out of OUR character and in CHRISTS character. to rebel against the new religion of non-religion. to be outrageously counter-cultural and walk in the power of the Spirit instead of our own. there is no pleasure that satisfies more and no drug that could duplicate the effects. if we see it as a call to holy rebellion and not an opportunity to gratify the flesh while creating a crumbling throne to self then it takes a dying to self. two completely opposite directions.
if we could, in the midst of seduction, see an opportunity to flip it in the opposite direction and turn it into a kingdom-furthering behaviour how pissed would satan be? the plucking at the strings of our selfishness is among his most commonly used weapons in his arsenal. and with a change of perspective we could render it useless!
anyway.. like i said.. its just a thought.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
there are two perspectives for every harlot
I'm thinking about the harlot in Hosea.
She comes to mind now and then sporadically when i think about God and his relation to us. She climbs on in there when I glance at my bookshelf and see my copy of "redeeming love" which made me ugly-cry, complete with snot bubbles, from cover to cover when i read it. but today she unexpectedly sprang up out of a different book I was reading.
The reference in the book was to Hosea 2:6-7
"Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but she will not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them."
When I first read it I thought it was harsh! it reminded me of times when i've felt walled in on all sides, unable to see past my toes and trying in vain to escape in any way that looked promising.
I imagined her arms bruised and bloodied from trying to rage against the walls and bushes until they fell or parted. Her voice would be gone from relentless screaming to be found. her heart broken from the defeat of thinking she had found a way out only to discover herself deeper in the maze of her entrapment. she's unable to have her love requited because her lovers are always just out of reach. she's soon left with no other option but to.. look up..
oh.
i get it.
i felt the resentment which had been building in my heart subside entirely.
this is not a harsh, mean punishment of God. He is not trapping her, or us for the enjoyment of watching us struggle. This is all done out of his unequaled love for us and his unquenchable desire to have our hearts for his own.
when we start to turn to things, or people, other than him for our salvation he places obstructions on those paths so we can be lovingly led back to where our real salvation is. in Him. he does it to save us from the inevitable pain it causes us to seek wholeness outside of himself. but because he is a loving God we still have the ability to choose. we can proudly thrash at thorns until we bleed to death or we can recognize where we are trying to draw life from death and turn into his waiting arms and together you can find a renewed vision.
This was good for me to realize because i feel like this weekend has been full of variations of thorn bushes and walls. walls of anger and pride, bushes of guilt and fogs of doubt. i would like to stop thrashing now.
She comes to mind now and then sporadically when i think about God and his relation to us. She climbs on in there when I glance at my bookshelf and see my copy of "redeeming love" which made me ugly-cry, complete with snot bubbles, from cover to cover when i read it. but today she unexpectedly sprang up out of a different book I was reading.
The reference in the book was to Hosea 2:6-7
"Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but she will not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them."
When I first read it I thought it was harsh! it reminded me of times when i've felt walled in on all sides, unable to see past my toes and trying in vain to escape in any way that looked promising.
I imagined her arms bruised and bloodied from trying to rage against the walls and bushes until they fell or parted. Her voice would be gone from relentless screaming to be found. her heart broken from the defeat of thinking she had found a way out only to discover herself deeper in the maze of her entrapment. she's unable to have her love requited because her lovers are always just out of reach. she's soon left with no other option but to.. look up..
oh.
i get it.
i felt the resentment which had been building in my heart subside entirely.
this is not a harsh, mean punishment of God. He is not trapping her, or us for the enjoyment of watching us struggle. This is all done out of his unequaled love for us and his unquenchable desire to have our hearts for his own.
when we start to turn to things, or people, other than him for our salvation he places obstructions on those paths so we can be lovingly led back to where our real salvation is. in Him. he does it to save us from the inevitable pain it causes us to seek wholeness outside of himself. but because he is a loving God we still have the ability to choose. we can proudly thrash at thorns until we bleed to death or we can recognize where we are trying to draw life from death and turn into his waiting arms and together you can find a renewed vision.
This was good for me to realize because i feel like this weekend has been full of variations of thorn bushes and walls. walls of anger and pride, bushes of guilt and fogs of doubt. i would like to stop thrashing now.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
a year of new normals... and another night of insomnia.
try as i may, sleep does not want to stay with me long. i'm wearing deodorant and i just had a shower... so it can't be me. it must have other, more important business tonight (or this morning?)
since my last post my life has continued to turn inside out and upside down. and its great! there are so many things I have learned and i am continuing to learn that are writhing just beneath the surface of my chest and competing with each other to bust outta there. my heart aches with a desire to just spill all over this keyboard. I'm never quite sure where to begin, but what do i know for sure? God is good. He is faithful. He is loving. And he's not done with me yet! I feel like I have reached a point where all i desire, all there is to do is stand under a vast starry sky or beaming sunset displaying the beauty and splendor of the God I love, throw my head back with my arms outstretched to each side and yelling "have your way in me!" reaching surrender has been a bloody road. and i know its a road i will have to revisit many times in my walk of faith. But is there any other way? i wouldn't want it if there were. if i had the option of an easier road than this one marked out for me then i don't think i would experience the intimacy with Jesus that I experience now. I wouldn't know the people that I know, read the books that i've read, had the same opportunities, i wouldn't be who I currently am.
not so long ago, shortly after april, i would see others who had what i assumed to be an "easier road" and i was painfully jealous. I felt so ripped off that i had my circumstances forced upon me and now there i stood in the wreckage of it all not knowing where i was or how to make any kind of sense of the chaos. but through that i had a consistent peaceful place in the corner of my heart. This little place held the knowledge that God was in control and that above all he loved me and is faithful. The more i began to visit this space of peace the more i began to realize that these people i was envious of, the ones who were laughing and living what seemed to be an untangled life, i didn't know their full tales. if i would have looked through the veil of my pain i would have seen that behind a lot of the laughter there were old eyes with stale tears. i was not the only one walking with a limp. in fact, as i began to dwell in this peaceful heart space instead of stopping by for frequent visits, i saw how richly blessed i actually am! i have a home, i have regular meals, nine remaining healthy family members, friends who i would die for and i know would do the same for me, and most valued; i have a relentless God who pursues me to no end. since moving into that heart space it has expanded to accommodate and now all of that crippled perspective seems so distant. and i'm left with an overwhelming thankfulness.
more to come...
since my last post my life has continued to turn inside out and upside down. and its great! there are so many things I have learned and i am continuing to learn that are writhing just beneath the surface of my chest and competing with each other to bust outta there. my heart aches with a desire to just spill all over this keyboard. I'm never quite sure where to begin, but what do i know for sure? God is good. He is faithful. He is loving. And he's not done with me yet! I feel like I have reached a point where all i desire, all there is to do is stand under a vast starry sky or beaming sunset displaying the beauty and splendor of the God I love, throw my head back with my arms outstretched to each side and yelling "have your way in me!" reaching surrender has been a bloody road. and i know its a road i will have to revisit many times in my walk of faith. But is there any other way? i wouldn't want it if there were. if i had the option of an easier road than this one marked out for me then i don't think i would experience the intimacy with Jesus that I experience now. I wouldn't know the people that I know, read the books that i've read, had the same opportunities, i wouldn't be who I currently am.
not so long ago, shortly after april, i would see others who had what i assumed to be an "easier road" and i was painfully jealous. I felt so ripped off that i had my circumstances forced upon me and now there i stood in the wreckage of it all not knowing where i was or how to make any kind of sense of the chaos. but through that i had a consistent peaceful place in the corner of my heart. This little place held the knowledge that God was in control and that above all he loved me and is faithful. The more i began to visit this space of peace the more i began to realize that these people i was envious of, the ones who were laughing and living what seemed to be an untangled life, i didn't know their full tales. if i would have looked through the veil of my pain i would have seen that behind a lot of the laughter there were old eyes with stale tears. i was not the only one walking with a limp. in fact, as i began to dwell in this peaceful heart space instead of stopping by for frequent visits, i saw how richly blessed i actually am! i have a home, i have regular meals, nine remaining healthy family members, friends who i would die for and i know would do the same for me, and most valued; i have a relentless God who pursues me to no end. since moving into that heart space it has expanded to accommodate and now all of that crippled perspective seems so distant. and i'm left with an overwhelming thankfulness.
more to come...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Bambi's mama
I won't go into all the details of my life over the last three years because there are A LOT! haha.. but we can get re-acquianted starting with where I'm at today...
So much has happened in the last couple weeks and I feel like I haven’t had the time to allow it to catch up with me, I’ve only been moving with momentum. Inside my skin there is a confusing combination of sturdy walls of peace and turbulent waves of anxiety. The waves relentlessly crash upon the walls in efforts to knock them down, but sturdy they remain.
recently..after I found out about some questionable activities that were going on at my place of residence I really felt like God was asking me to GET OUT of there. It was a really hard thing for me to do. I was friends with my roommate who is not a believer and over the last 7 months of living together she had mentioned numerous times that if it was God in me that made me obviously different from others then she wanted to know who this God person was. It seemed God was using me to be a bit of a beacon in her life, unbeknown to me. That was a huge encouragement, and a huge responsibility. It acted as a form of accountability for me in the way I chose to live my life. It also was heavy in the sense that I had to maintain this pedestal standard she had placed me on. I am not pedestal material! None of us are. The only reason we are any different is because of the grace of God, and the value he puts on our lives. It is nothing we can measure up to on our own strength. The only good she saw in me was because of what Jesus was doing in and through me. I only hope that she knew how to make that distinction. So after finding out some things that were going on at my place, I stood right in the vortex of a moral dilemma. Torn between my fear of ruining the witness I had established within this friendship, and what I felt was obedience to leave. To know that God knows best and to still choose disobedience is really rather unintelligent and not worth the risk.
So i prayed. I prayed for days that if moving out was the right thing to do that God would allow it to go smoothly. so, when I told my roomie that i was thinking of moving out (based on the circumstances) of course i expected her to be very receptive and understanding. this actually was not the result. Things got pretty angry and uncomfortable at my house. this was really painful for me. So i started to doubt that i was making the right choice. Then Thursday night a very good, very amazing friend called me to see how I was doing. Through sporadic tears I filled her in on what was going on at home..and within half an hour she was at my house and within two hours she had all of my stuff moved out of my place and into hers. I guess God's definition of "smooth" is quite a bit different than mine...
So now here I am out on an open range, fully exposed and raw, a perfect target of attack. Much like Bambi’s mother. Only my hunters are mostly of the hungry spiritual variety, not the hungry human kind.. and I'm not going to die :)
So much has happened in the last couple weeks and I feel like I haven’t had the time to allow it to catch up with me, I’ve only been moving with momentum. Inside my skin there is a confusing combination of sturdy walls of peace and turbulent waves of anxiety. The waves relentlessly crash upon the walls in efforts to knock them down, but sturdy they remain.
recently..after I found out about some questionable activities that were going on at my place of residence I really felt like God was asking me to GET OUT of there. It was a really hard thing for me to do. I was friends with my roommate who is not a believer and over the last 7 months of living together she had mentioned numerous times that if it was God in me that made me obviously different from others then she wanted to know who this God person was. It seemed God was using me to be a bit of a beacon in her life, unbeknown to me. That was a huge encouragement, and a huge responsibility. It acted as a form of accountability for me in the way I chose to live my life. It also was heavy in the sense that I had to maintain this pedestal standard she had placed me on. I am not pedestal material! None of us are. The only reason we are any different is because of the grace of God, and the value he puts on our lives. It is nothing we can measure up to on our own strength. The only good she saw in me was because of what Jesus was doing in and through me. I only hope that she knew how to make that distinction. So after finding out some things that were going on at my place, I stood right in the vortex of a moral dilemma. Torn between my fear of ruining the witness I had established within this friendship, and what I felt was obedience to leave. To know that God knows best and to still choose disobedience is really rather unintelligent and not worth the risk.
So i prayed. I prayed for days that if moving out was the right thing to do that God would allow it to go smoothly. so, when I told my roomie that i was thinking of moving out (based on the circumstances) of course i expected her to be very receptive and understanding. this actually was not the result. Things got pretty angry and uncomfortable at my house. this was really painful for me. So i started to doubt that i was making the right choice. Then Thursday night a very good, very amazing friend called me to see how I was doing. Through sporadic tears I filled her in on what was going on at home..and within half an hour she was at my house and within two hours she had all of my stuff moved out of my place and into hers. I guess God's definition of "smooth" is quite a bit different than mine...
So now here I am out on an open range, fully exposed and raw, a perfect target of attack. Much like Bambi’s mother. Only my hunters are mostly of the hungry spiritual variety, not the hungry human kind.. and I'm not going to die :)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
OVERDUE!
So I suppose it has been QUITE awhile since I’ve updated my blog. SO SORRY FAITHFUL READERS! Well this has BY FAR been the craziest, busiest, most stressful month of my Chinese life so far. I’ll take it back to the beginning. OK so, when I first started working for my boss, Jenny, I worked CRAZY over time hours for her. People thought I was crazy, but I wanted to help her out. So in exchange I asked her for my normal contract hours (22) for the month of August while my friend was up visiting.
My best friend, Ashlee came up to visit for three weeks. AMAZING, I know! It was so great of her to come here. We had such a wonderful time. There were some complications involved when she first came. The plan was for me to go to Beijing, pick her up and we spend the weekend together in Beijing. So I hopped an overnight bus to Beijing, so excited to see her AND to see Beijing. A few hours into the ride I get a phone call. It’s ashlee, nearly in tears because she missed her plane. “FRICK!” I thought.
Haha.. it’s funny now. But there was weeks of build up for this visit and it was truly disappointing. So I convinced myself that it just HAD to work out. I was going to Beijing, my hotel was already booked. It wasn’t going to be a waste of a trip. So she did eventually make it to china. A day late. So I had to spend the weekend in Beijing alone. And it was great! I had such a good time. I went to Tianamen Square, I went to the Summer palace, and I met so many people! I met some people at Tianamen and we went to a tea festival. It was so cool! And I had never spent the night in a hotel alone before so it was a cool experience. It was nice to have some time alone. I haven’t really been alone since I got to china. So anyway Jenny agreed to let me have my normal hours. Then when I came back from Beijing she had me working 7 hours overtime! So I brought the subject to her and asked her about it, asking her why I still had more hours than the other teachers when she had agreed to the contract hours. She denied it and said that I never asked her for the contract hours. It was a mess. So that didn’t end very well. But she did change the schedule back to only 2 hours overtime, which I was verbally grateful for. But since that day I went from being the on top favourite teacher to the black sheep. She made up nasty stories about me to the other teachers, and pitted them in competition against me. whenever she had an ounce of a problem with me she went to the other teachers and to my other friends. She blatantly undermined me in front of students and their parents. I DID NOT come all this way to china, and work this hard to be treated with such little respect. My reputation that I worked hard to build over the last 4 months was slashed to ribbons in a week. So I talked with jenny over dinner telling her that she needed to start acting like a mature professional or I’m leaving. She said she would. But things only got worse. She told the other teachers she didn’t believe I was really leaving and that it was an empty threat and that she “owned” me. So I promptly gave her my notice and started looking for another job. I’ll come back to this later. I’ll talk about Ashlee’s visit first J
We went to shanghai for a few days and had SO much fun! We went to all these illegal fake brand name stores. And we found this Ice bar. It was so cool! (pun possibly intended J) it was this bar made entirely of ice. The menu was ice, the cups were ice, the seats were ice. There were ice sculptures.. it was all ice. They give you these Eskimo coats and gloves when you go in. you’re aonly allowed to be in the bar for 45 minutes and then you have to go out for a while and warm up. I figured because we are from Canada we could handle it. NO WAY! We stayed in there long enough to have one drink and we were outta there! They weren’t lying about the cold. Then the next weekend we went to Beijing! It was great! We went to the forbidden city the first day. It was really interesting. I wish I knew more Chinese history. (I took a bunch of pictures for you Grandpa!) and the next day we went on a tour with 7 other people to the Ming Tombs and the GREAT WALL! It was raining all day, but it seemed to add something special. Something more mysterious. I really enjoyed the tombs. The things they told us were so interesting! But the great wall was fantastic! ( I took a bunch of pictures there too!) we had such a great time up there. We had to take this roller coaster trolley thing up the side of a mountain to bypass the busy part so we could actually get to the wall. It’s a very busy place. They had bears outside the wall in a habitat that you could throw cucumbers to. I was a little disappointed that they weren’t panda bears. I’ll see those before I leave, I promise! So that was Beijing. Beautiful and interesting.
When we got back to Weihai we visited the beach in the evening. I guess this summer was the summer for all the jellyfish to come out. There was a jellyfish MASSACRE! People were in the water pulling these HUGE, MONTROUS jellyfish out of the water and killing them, taking the parts that they needed for dinner and leaving the rest on the beach. The beach was COVERED with jellyfish bodies. It was neat. I geuss a couple foreigners died this summer on that beach from poisonous jellyfish stings. I avoided the water after that.
So that’s a summary of Ashlee’s visit. And this is the best part: A week after she got home she called me and said she had decided she loved china so much that she;s quitting her job, selling her car and MOVING HERE to live with me!!!!!! how great is that?! I’m so excited. So she’ll be here in approximately…17 days. Not even counting haha.
So as to the job thing. On Wednesday I moved to a city called Shenzhen. It’s VERY close to hong kong. In some areas you can see hong kong. It’s very hot and tropical here. They call it the California, or the Florida of china. It some places it still looks like china, but mostly like Florida filled with Chinese people. I’m in the care of a recruitment agency and they got me an interview with a kindergarten school on Monday. I REALLY don’t want to teach kindergarten but I guess the middle schools are full. And it’s only for 6 months. AND here’s something kinda interesting.. haha… I have an interview with a modeling agency. So silly! It would be fun though. I’ll keep you posted on that.
Well so here I am, in Shenzhen, sitting in a starbucks, I just finished eating my whole wheat carrot muffin and my espresso frappaccino. And sitting almost directly across from me is a guy with very pungent breath speaking fervently to a woman across from him with breath as equally bad smelling….. and looking at a view of tall buildings and palm trees. As I was falling asleep last night in my very cramped, very damp hotel room I felt like one of those people who move to LA to become famous. They are alone with no money, no job, no acquaintances. All they have is passion, and that seems to keep them going. I don’t plan on becoming famous here but I do fit the rest of that criteria.
My best friend, Ashlee came up to visit for three weeks. AMAZING, I know! It was so great of her to come here. We had such a wonderful time. There were some complications involved when she first came. The plan was for me to go to Beijing, pick her up and we spend the weekend together in Beijing. So I hopped an overnight bus to Beijing, so excited to see her AND to see Beijing. A few hours into the ride I get a phone call. It’s ashlee, nearly in tears because she missed her plane. “FRICK!” I thought.
Haha.. it’s funny now. But there was weeks of build up for this visit and it was truly disappointing. So I convinced myself that it just HAD to work out. I was going to Beijing, my hotel was already booked. It wasn’t going to be a waste of a trip. So she did eventually make it to china. A day late. So I had to spend the weekend in Beijing alone. And it was great! I had such a good time. I went to Tianamen Square, I went to the Summer palace, and I met so many people! I met some people at Tianamen and we went to a tea festival. It was so cool! And I had never spent the night in a hotel alone before so it was a cool experience. It was nice to have some time alone. I haven’t really been alone since I got to china. So anyway Jenny agreed to let me have my normal hours. Then when I came back from Beijing she had me working 7 hours overtime! So I brought the subject to her and asked her about it, asking her why I still had more hours than the other teachers when she had agreed to the contract hours. She denied it and said that I never asked her for the contract hours. It was a mess. So that didn’t end very well. But she did change the schedule back to only 2 hours overtime, which I was verbally grateful for. But since that day I went from being the on top favourite teacher to the black sheep. She made up nasty stories about me to the other teachers, and pitted them in competition against me. whenever she had an ounce of a problem with me she went to the other teachers and to my other friends. She blatantly undermined me in front of students and their parents. I DID NOT come all this way to china, and work this hard to be treated with such little respect. My reputation that I worked hard to build over the last 4 months was slashed to ribbons in a week. So I talked with jenny over dinner telling her that she needed to start acting like a mature professional or I’m leaving. She said she would. But things only got worse. She told the other teachers she didn’t believe I was really leaving and that it was an empty threat and that she “owned” me. So I promptly gave her my notice and started looking for another job. I’ll come back to this later. I’ll talk about Ashlee’s visit first J
We went to shanghai for a few days and had SO much fun! We went to all these illegal fake brand name stores. And we found this Ice bar. It was so cool! (pun possibly intended J) it was this bar made entirely of ice. The menu was ice, the cups were ice, the seats were ice. There were ice sculptures.. it was all ice. They give you these Eskimo coats and gloves when you go in. you’re aonly allowed to be in the bar for 45 minutes and then you have to go out for a while and warm up. I figured because we are from Canada we could handle it. NO WAY! We stayed in there long enough to have one drink and we were outta there! They weren’t lying about the cold. Then the next weekend we went to Beijing! It was great! We went to the forbidden city the first day. It was really interesting. I wish I knew more Chinese history. (I took a bunch of pictures for you Grandpa!) and the next day we went on a tour with 7 other people to the Ming Tombs and the GREAT WALL! It was raining all day, but it seemed to add something special. Something more mysterious. I really enjoyed the tombs. The things they told us were so interesting! But the great wall was fantastic! ( I took a bunch of pictures there too!) we had such a great time up there. We had to take this roller coaster trolley thing up the side of a mountain to bypass the busy part so we could actually get to the wall. It’s a very busy place. They had bears outside the wall in a habitat that you could throw cucumbers to. I was a little disappointed that they weren’t panda bears. I’ll see those before I leave, I promise! So that was Beijing. Beautiful and interesting.
When we got back to Weihai we visited the beach in the evening. I guess this summer was the summer for all the jellyfish to come out. There was a jellyfish MASSACRE! People were in the water pulling these HUGE, MONTROUS jellyfish out of the water and killing them, taking the parts that they needed for dinner and leaving the rest on the beach. The beach was COVERED with jellyfish bodies. It was neat. I geuss a couple foreigners died this summer on that beach from poisonous jellyfish stings. I avoided the water after that.
So that’s a summary of Ashlee’s visit. And this is the best part: A week after she got home she called me and said she had decided she loved china so much that she;s quitting her job, selling her car and MOVING HERE to live with me!!!!!! how great is that?! I’m so excited. So she’ll be here in approximately…17 days. Not even counting haha.
So as to the job thing. On Wednesday I moved to a city called Shenzhen. It’s VERY close to hong kong. In some areas you can see hong kong. It’s very hot and tropical here. They call it the California, or the Florida of china. It some places it still looks like china, but mostly like Florida filled with Chinese people. I’m in the care of a recruitment agency and they got me an interview with a kindergarten school on Monday. I REALLY don’t want to teach kindergarten but I guess the middle schools are full. And it’s only for 6 months. AND here’s something kinda interesting.. haha… I have an interview with a modeling agency. So silly! It would be fun though. I’ll keep you posted on that.
Well so here I am, in Shenzhen, sitting in a starbucks, I just finished eating my whole wheat carrot muffin and my espresso frappaccino. And sitting almost directly across from me is a guy with very pungent breath speaking fervently to a woman across from him with breath as equally bad smelling….. and looking at a view of tall buildings and palm trees. As I was falling asleep last night in my very cramped, very damp hotel room I felt like one of those people who move to LA to become famous. They are alone with no money, no job, no acquaintances. All they have is passion, and that seems to keep them going. I don’t plan on becoming famous here but I do fit the rest of that criteria.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
update
so agreeably it's been a long time since i last updated thing thang. i've been lazy! i'm sorry! so SHANGHAI! it was so fun! i wish i had more crazy stories from there to tell you, but it was pretty basic tourism. the bus we took there was so cool! it beats a greyhound a thousand times over! only about 30-some people get on the bus and instead of seats they have beds! YEAH! the trip was about 15 hours long so it was NIIICE. however i had a bad bed on the way there and they were bunk bed style so the bed above me was too close so i couldn't sit up at all. after laying down for 15 hours it kinda gives you a teeny headache. and a couple men were late getting on the bus so they had to sleep on the floor.. riiight beside me. so spent most of the way there spooning with a complete stranger. the way back was much better! i got a top bunk! wa hoo!
we saw a lot of buildings and places. we went to Madame Toussauds wax museum it was great! they had people there like princess diana, michael jackson, david beckham.. they had EVERYONE famous you can think of pretty much. we got some pretty good pictures so if you're ever on facebook check out my albums! we went to the people's square which is a really cool block blocked off from traffic (except this little train that takes you on tours around the block.. it look like a little toy train but can fit a surprising amount of people in it!) and the street in lined with shopping areas, restaurants, bars. it's a great place to go at night! the neon lights are amazing! we went up to the VEERRRYYY top of the oriental pearl tower. it's the third highest tower in the world. the inside was incredible! when you are finished viewing, instead of taking an elevator down you go through a bar/restaurant, and two different museums. one if a museum of old chinese culture and the other is a space museum. random. and there is a roller coaster inside. ji hye is scared of things that like so we didn't go. it's no fun to go alone. it takes about two hours to get through the whole thing but you're never lacking entertainment. shanghai was so nice because there were so many foreigners! now when i'm back in weihai and i see a foreigner i don't feel an irrisistable urge to run up to them and introduce myself. that's a good thing :) we met a lot of people.. it was surprisingly hard though to find foreigners who spoke english! we met a group of asian people from australia. i spoke more chinese than they did it was hilarious! we hung out with them for the rest of the week. i went on the super train! it covers (i forget how many miles, but driving by car it takes about an hour) but this super train cover the same amount of ground in a shocking 8 minutes! it was a little scary but so worth it! i think it's the fastest one in the world. so that's kinda cool. we also went to this place called Xin Tian Di almost every night which is a place that is all renaissance style buildings and it's all blocked off from traffic and it's cobblestone streets strewn with fancy outdoor restaurants and clubs. it was really cool to see. i wish my pictures turned out better they don't do most of the scenery justice at all. what else did we do? we went to the Yu Yuan gardens, which was INCREDIBLE! what kind of architecture do you think of when you think of china? i hope it's those curved topped roofs and dragons and things like that. yeah this whole part of the city is buiding upon building in traditional chinese architecture. so beautiful! and there was market upon market! (ANNND a starbucks!) then when you get into the actualy garden it's beautiful! it's so hard to describe. it was buing during the Quing dynasty i believe and it was so cool to imagine all the emporers and other people walking through that exact garden (although a lot of it had been restored so there were very few ORIGINAL parts). that was a ridiculously hot day though! actually everyday in shanghai was ridiculously hot! you take five steps in any direction and you're completely soaked. it was nuts. we didn't do the river cruise.. after so many days of go-go tourism you just want to relax.. so we'll hit that next time. we did a lot of shopping in some of the famous shopping centers.... A LOT. haha. it was a good time. found some good deals. we went through these tunnels.. the brochure made them seem incredible.. but if you ever get to shanghai.. don't waste your time!! really.. i generally like everything i try.. but these tunnels were LAME! but they were in a great location. they were in a place called The bund which is crazily crowded with people. it's a cement path that winds along the Huangpu river, and has the loading dock for the river cruise. it's a nice place, and it's easy to see why it's craawling with people all the time. i got my eyebrow pierced! haha.. did somethign random.. all that heat plays with your mind. i'm lucky i stopped at the piercing and didn't get a whole sleeve of tattoos! we checked out a Buddha temple. it was really beautiful. it was sad.. there were so many idols. and the size of them! there are bell towers and drum towers. most of this is all included in my pictures. people come into the temple grounds and they buy prayer incence sticks and light on fire on these big coal pitts and then they stand in the middle of the courtyard and bow to all four surrounding walls holding the prayer sticks either in front of them or over their heads. it was interesting. when they're finished praying they lay the sticks on the side of the coal pitt and leave them to burn. like i said.. interesting...but sad.
so that's all i can think of as of now for shanghai. getting back to weihai was NICE! the pace is slower, the air is cooler and there's an OCEAN! the day after we got back we went straight to the beach for the day. we bought our rubber water tubes and floated in the water all day. well we stayed in the water until we swam into a HUGE jellyfish. those things feels DISGUSTING!! i was swimming and felt somethign jelly and screamed louder than i have for a long time and looked and it was a little jellyfish, and then the deeper we got the more i saw everywhere and then all of a sudden this HUGE giant mother jellyfish came out of nowhere! we're lucky we didn't get stung. that thing could have killed. we paddled our tubes as fast as we could outta there.
so for the summer prgram we got two new teachers. both are from england. one teacher's name in johnathan and the other is Essy. actually the other WAS Essy.. she was a bit of a princess and when she found out she couldn't have her own apartment she left so we are short one teacher now and so we have an extra week off. ok with with me :) although i am missing some of my students a bit. we found a replacement teacher who is from america, her name is Jenna.. she's coming tomorrow. i guess she'll be my new roommate for a month. either mine or johnathan's... but i'm pretty sure she would probably rather live with me haha but who knows.
today me and johathan went rock climbing! it was SO nice. we climbed up this big mountain and had such a spectacular view. after that we walked through town and stopped for some street food and i showed him around the night market. it was fun. i love china. you see so many random things in a night. you wouldn't believe this place unless you were here. every minute something unexpected is happening. you're never lacking entertainment in any degree. sorry guys i'm never coming home! haha.. i'm ruined! tomorrow we're going out in the morning to see if we can get out on a fishing boat. can't wait! i've been wanting to try fishing here since before i came!
we saw a lot of buildings and places. we went to Madame Toussauds wax museum it was great! they had people there like princess diana, michael jackson, david beckham.. they had EVERYONE famous you can think of pretty much. we got some pretty good pictures so if you're ever on facebook check out my albums! we went to the people's square which is a really cool block blocked off from traffic (except this little train that takes you on tours around the block.. it look like a little toy train but can fit a surprising amount of people in it!) and the street in lined with shopping areas, restaurants, bars. it's a great place to go at night! the neon lights are amazing! we went up to the VEERRRYYY top of the oriental pearl tower. it's the third highest tower in the world. the inside was incredible! when you are finished viewing, instead of taking an elevator down you go through a bar/restaurant, and two different museums. one if a museum of old chinese culture and the other is a space museum. random. and there is a roller coaster inside. ji hye is scared of things that like so we didn't go. it's no fun to go alone. it takes about two hours to get through the whole thing but you're never lacking entertainment. shanghai was so nice because there were so many foreigners! now when i'm back in weihai and i see a foreigner i don't feel an irrisistable urge to run up to them and introduce myself. that's a good thing :) we met a lot of people.. it was surprisingly hard though to find foreigners who spoke english! we met a group of asian people from australia. i spoke more chinese than they did it was hilarious! we hung out with them for the rest of the week. i went on the super train! it covers (i forget how many miles, but driving by car it takes about an hour) but this super train cover the same amount of ground in a shocking 8 minutes! it was a little scary but so worth it! i think it's the fastest one in the world. so that's kinda cool. we also went to this place called Xin Tian Di almost every night which is a place that is all renaissance style buildings and it's all blocked off from traffic and it's cobblestone streets strewn with fancy outdoor restaurants and clubs. it was really cool to see. i wish my pictures turned out better they don't do most of the scenery justice at all. what else did we do? we went to the Yu Yuan gardens, which was INCREDIBLE! what kind of architecture do you think of when you think of china? i hope it's those curved topped roofs and dragons and things like that. yeah this whole part of the city is buiding upon building in traditional chinese architecture. so beautiful! and there was market upon market! (ANNND a starbucks!) then when you get into the actualy garden it's beautiful! it's so hard to describe. it was buing during the Quing dynasty i believe and it was so cool to imagine all the emporers and other people walking through that exact garden (although a lot of it had been restored so there were very few ORIGINAL parts). that was a ridiculously hot day though! actually everyday in shanghai was ridiculously hot! you take five steps in any direction and you're completely soaked. it was nuts. we didn't do the river cruise.. after so many days of go-go tourism you just want to relax.. so we'll hit that next time. we did a lot of shopping in some of the famous shopping centers.... A LOT. haha. it was a good time. found some good deals. we went through these tunnels.. the brochure made them seem incredible.. but if you ever get to shanghai.. don't waste your time!! really.. i generally like everything i try.. but these tunnels were LAME! but they were in a great location. they were in a place called The bund which is crazily crowded with people. it's a cement path that winds along the Huangpu river, and has the loading dock for the river cruise. it's a nice place, and it's easy to see why it's craawling with people all the time. i got my eyebrow pierced! haha.. did somethign random.. all that heat plays with your mind. i'm lucky i stopped at the piercing and didn't get a whole sleeve of tattoos! we checked out a Buddha temple. it was really beautiful. it was sad.. there were so many idols. and the size of them! there are bell towers and drum towers. most of this is all included in my pictures. people come into the temple grounds and they buy prayer incence sticks and light on fire on these big coal pitts and then they stand in the middle of the courtyard and bow to all four surrounding walls holding the prayer sticks either in front of them or over their heads. it was interesting. when they're finished praying they lay the sticks on the side of the coal pitt and leave them to burn. like i said.. interesting...but sad.
so that's all i can think of as of now for shanghai. getting back to weihai was NICE! the pace is slower, the air is cooler and there's an OCEAN! the day after we got back we went straight to the beach for the day. we bought our rubber water tubes and floated in the water all day. well we stayed in the water until we swam into a HUGE jellyfish. those things feels DISGUSTING!! i was swimming and felt somethign jelly and screamed louder than i have for a long time and looked and it was a little jellyfish, and then the deeper we got the more i saw everywhere and then all of a sudden this HUGE giant mother jellyfish came out of nowhere! we're lucky we didn't get stung. that thing could have killed. we paddled our tubes as fast as we could outta there.
so for the summer prgram we got two new teachers. both are from england. one teacher's name in johnathan and the other is Essy. actually the other WAS Essy.. she was a bit of a princess and when she found out she couldn't have her own apartment she left so we are short one teacher now and so we have an extra week off. ok with with me :) although i am missing some of my students a bit. we found a replacement teacher who is from america, her name is Jenna.. she's coming tomorrow. i guess she'll be my new roommate for a month. either mine or johnathan's... but i'm pretty sure she would probably rather live with me haha but who knows.
today me and johathan went rock climbing! it was SO nice. we climbed up this big mountain and had such a spectacular view. after that we walked through town and stopped for some street food and i showed him around the night market. it was fun. i love china. you see so many random things in a night. you wouldn't believe this place unless you were here. every minute something unexpected is happening. you're never lacking entertainment in any degree. sorry guys i'm never coming home! haha.. i'm ruined! tomorrow we're going out in the morning to see if we can get out on a fishing boat. can't wait! i've been wanting to try fishing here since before i came!
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